Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Photo Post


Ok so the last post made we want to post some more pics!  The first couple pictures are done by Chris Gaines, a fantastic photographer.  If anyone is interested in him taking some photos please let me know!

JW and Mommy
One of JW's speeches, complete with hand gestures
Hey look! Feet! 

Maddie and JW at CSL for Haloween

Hey there!

Praying for back to back Stanley Cup wins for the Bruins!

Christmas baby!

How to deal with unwanted/unsolicited advice

Unsolicited advice has been the most annoying/aggravating thing about having a baby.  People seem to become a know at all when it comes to children (even if they don't have any, although parents are the worst)

MW and I have had a couple of times where we sit back and say "What?"  The best way that we have found to deal with unsolicited advice is pretty simple.  Assess what the person has to say and if you don't like it don't worry about it.  You aren't going to stop people from giving you advice.

Take what you think is good from this advice and assimilate into your parenting style, everything else throw on the garbage heap.  Try not take this advice personally (I should be one to talk) and just move on.  You have plenty of things to be upset about and it is easier to just ignore people.

Don't feel pressured or anything like that.  It doesn't matter if its a stranger on the street or your own mother (our parents have been good about not giving tons of unwanted advice)  You are the parent now.  Be confident in what you are doing, discuss with your parent and enjoy your baby!


Bath time is one of the funniest experiences I have ever had (Right)




(below) JW in his high chair, playing with some toys!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Three month update

So it really is amazing to think that JW is already 3 months old.  This has been the longest, and yet shortest, 3 months in existence.  Lets start with all the bad things that I have experienced so far( lets get the short list out of the way)

Tough/crappy parts of the first three months of parenthood-
-Never being able to wake up on your own/lack of sleep
-Limited ability to go out with people (although we bring JW out often (to restaurants, bars, walking etc.) and    he seems to do fine with it.  Just keep  it to a reasonable level.)
-Crying can certainly be grating.  It also gets louder and higher pitch as time goes on
-Annoying people giving me advice:  Out of all the tough things this is the one that drives me the most insane.  If i want help I will ask for it and I don't care to have your opinion before then.

Now the good parts:
-You are a parent, its fun, enjoy it!
-As kooky as it sounds its one of the most interesting glimpses into human beings ever (its like a little experiement lol)
-The first smile makes the first 2.5 months not seem nearly as tough
-JW has made it through the night (5-7 hours) a handful of times and otherwise wakes up once.  
-MW and I are so much more confident in our parenting skills


Monday, November 28, 2011

First time to another state/travel with an infant

For Thanksgiving this year we MW, JW and our friend the Sailing foodie headed up to Vermont for some holiday fun.  Every year for the past couple years Thanksgiving has been a holiday that we have kept mainly to ourselves.  I think its really nice to have a holiday that you can do something un-family related.  Family is great, but there is a lot of family around this time of year, especially when all three of our birthdays are right around the end of summer/beginning of fall.

Anyway this was the first time that young JW has traveled anywhere farther than Reading.  It was a little bit nerve wracking to know that we would be traveling the day before thanksgiving with a 3 month old, but away we went.  Travel for us was EXTREMELY easy (because our baby is freaking awesome).  He woke up once on the way up, but we jsut stopped and feed him and he was content to sit in his car seat and play for the remaining 30-40 minutes.  On the way home he made the entire time!

There are a couple of things that I would recommend to bring with you for these trips, also a couple that I would say leave at home... 

Must have
3-4 bottles (although we were good about washing bottles, it was nice to have extras)
If you are bottle feeding bring enough formula to feed in the car if need be (if you are using premixed keep in mind that you may loose that bottle since you cannot refrigerate in the car.)
Plenty of burp clothes (especially if there is no laundry)
Carrier/stroller
If you have a play chair that the baby likes BRING IT.  We opted not to bring JW's froggie chair and it would have been nice to put him down for a couple minutes somewhere safe and secure, instead of always having to have someone hold him

Leave at home
Bath stuff (are you really going to use it?)
Pack enough clothes to have a couple extra, but not 50 outfits for a long weekend
Dress clothes are fine, but keep in mind pajamas or a nice onsie are so much easier
Bottle warmer (although it is great at home, just microwave some water, its much easier then moving the warmer)
He def didn't need as many toys/books as we brought.  If you are travelling with people he will more than likely get plenty of attention/stimulation

That is my first experience at packing/travelling with babies, but overall it went well.  I am sure the do's/don'ts will get more extensive when we travel with him for longer.  Until then Thanksgiving in VT went great.  Thanks BQ!



(left and below) MW and JW on our quest through Woodstock VT.  He loved the suit, but the hat took some getting used to.  He is going to be a little mountain man before we know it.  O yea did I mention he decided walking around town was a good time to take a nap...yup
( below) JW dressed for Thankgiving in his Mike Holmes suspenders and turkey bib




Friday, November 18, 2011

Yay for beating Gestational Diabetes

MW took her post pregnancy glucose test this week and passed with flying colors!  Yay for not having gestational diabetes anymore!  She goes for an appointment with the endocrinologist today for the final ok, but we aren't expecting any issues!

JW is doing wonderfully, we are getting on average 5-6 hours of sleep at a time at night now, which is excellent!  Here is a picture for everyones viewing pleasure....go Bruins!


Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Travel during late the third trimester/ early after birth

This is a draft of a post I wrote in early August regarding travel in the third trimester.  I didn't publish it then, but  I think its a good thing to think about.  I also added a bit regarding travel close after brith...

Third trimester travel
Recently I went on a company trip to Montreal for a week. A ship was up in Port of Montreal and I was asked to go to Montreal, spend the week onboard, and really learn how repair work and steel work happens. Any other time of my life I would have jumped on the oppurtunity to get onboard and learn this stuff, but I had to face a decision. To travel this late in MWs pregnancy or to pass up the opportunity to get onboard and get some real shipboard experience.  I decided to go for it.

The biggest issue for me was not so much the fact that I thought I would miss JW's birth.  That did weigh on me, but really the biggest thing was that I was not going to be there for MW.  Its very stressful in the last month of your pregnancy and it killed me to know that MW would be just waiting by herself while I was running around onboard ship.  We spoke every day and luckily her family was around and spent some time with her but seriously reconsider before you travel that close to your baby being born.

Travel after birth
Pre-birth travel was stressful, post birth travel was one of the biggest deals of MW and my relationship.   I had made plans months before to travel to Baltimore soon after JW's birth to attend a green shipping conference with a colleague.  I had discussed it with MW and we decided it was a great opportunity and that she would be ok with it.  Pre-birth thoughts and post birth reality are two vastly different things

It was one of the most difficult things to have my wife (my exhausted and hormonal wife) at home in Boston with a brand new baby, while I was in Baltimore.  Overall I think that MW handled it amazingly, with very little freak outs, but I realized that it was really not worth putting her through that all for a silly conference.  After birth I suggest clearing your schedule at least for the first 4 months or so.  At 2 months you feel so much more comfortable with baby and I would imagine by 4 months things have really started ton feel like a routine!

Staying fluid is the key

The biggest thing that I have noticed with having a baby is the lack of control.  There is ZERO ability to plan anything (anyone who says otherwise is just plain wrong).  Just when you think you understand the way a baby work he decides to do a 180, just to spite you.  That being said there is one thing that I have noticed has really helped me feel better about zero planning, staying fluid.

You can have things you want to do and still do them with a child, they just aren't going to come about in the way that you think.  Don't worry if things do not go even close to plan, just go with the flow and don't worry about it.  For people who are very planning oriented this transition is very difficult, but just keep it in your head that this baby is legit doing everything for the first time.  This time two months ago JW was not even a baby yet.  He had never taken a breath, eaten food, pooped, anything.  That is the thing I try and keep in my head for when I get aggravated (and you will get aggravated, pissed off, etc.)

Fluidity is key in the advice that you get from others as well.  Advice is awesome and really you should take in as much as you can, however don't listen to 3/4 of it.  Everyone knows everything about kids when they are giving advice, but in reality almost all of it is opinion to take it as that.

Parents are great, but they are one of the biggest advice givers.  Listen to them, take what you like and ignore what you don't.  In our cases our parents haven't had babies in 10 years, which doesn't seem like a lot, but really is.  Don't be bullied by your parents...you are the parents now!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Sorry for the delay...raising a baby is hard!

Hi all, sorry for the delay, but raising a baby is hard!

Things have been going well since JW was born, but man it is a tiring exercise.  Having to get up every couple of hours to feed, change, burp, and sooth back to sleep certainly takes a toll.  After the first couple of weeks he has started to fall into his own routine as well, which sometimes means all the rocking and soothing in the world is not going to get him to sleep.

This being said the best advice I can give you is keep your sense of humor and remember that your partner isnt out to get you.  Sometimes those late night feedings get aggrivating and sometimes anger seems to appear out of nowhere.  Remember you have an awesome little person to take care of!  Also it does get better, at least that's what I am told!

(sorry for the delay/crappy update.  It has been difficult to get back into blogging, but i will get there)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The first 3 weeks

So here I am 3 weeks into being a dad.  I  had the first two weeks off from work, but I am back now.Many times I have opened my laptop, opened blogger and then blanked out, but I promise I will get there.

Thinking back on the first three weeks the biggest thing I can remark on is the speed of the whole thing.  At the time it seemed as if things were dragging by, but now I am looking back saying where did the time go?  So far we have a fantastic baby.  Sometimes he is fussy at night, but really he is pretty good for the most part.

Once you get out of the hospital the real fun/learning begins.  Although the things that they tell you in the hospital are important, they really dont seem to help much once you are home.  Things happen that you never thought to ask about and it seems much more difficult when you don't have a nurse to buzz.  Just relax and go with it.  The baby only has a couple of needs so run through the list and try and find out whats wrong

Is he wet?
Is he hungry?
Does he have gas?
Is he tired?
Does he just want to be held?

Those are the 5 things that 95% of crying is related to.  It gets very easy to forget this list (which seems silly, but its the truth) so just take a breath and go through it.  Everything will be ok.

Also remember to enjoy the good parts.  Sleeping babies are fun to hold, the same way the faces they make are hilarious. Try and enjoy those times, that way the tough times seem a little easier.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Top 10 tips I have for the new parent

Hi all.  Things are going well here, although there is some definite sleep deprivation going on right now.  That being said we love having our little JW home with us.  Here are the top 8 posts I have for the new parent, both in the hospital and at home.

1) Don't feel bad about sending the baby to the nursery
2) Don't get pushed around by nurses/doctors/lactation consultants
3) Ask questions, no matter how dumb you feel
4) If you have a pet, get him used to babies smell
5) Read the directions on your breast pump
6) Don't be afraid to have people over, but DEFINITELY don't be afraid to tell people not to come
7) Sleep is great, but so is relaxation
8) Paper plates and silverware, the last thing that you want to do is dishes when you are home

Most of these are self explanatory, but the biggest 3 are 6-8  Guests can be the greatest thing in the world...or they can be a physical and mental drain that you really don't need right after bringing home a new baby.  The biggest issue is those guests that you have to entertain and that come in and ruin your routine.  Having a baby is all about routine, especially if you are using your breast pump often.  Just stick to your routine and let everyone else do their thing.

Sleep is great, get it.  At the same time relaxation is almost, if not equally, as important.  Take a minute when the baby is napping to do something you really like.  Watch a move, listen to music or read a book.  This will let you burn off some steam and then you will sleep that much better.

Paper products are KEY!  The last thing that you want to do right after you have a brought a baby home is dishes. You ultimately will end up doing dishes but if you can cut out the plates and cutlery you will have noticeably less things to wash.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Now entering the game, batting 3rd, JW

Hi all sorry for the lack of posts, but our little guy arrived! I wanted to post something here with all the details

He was born on 29 August at 0354 in the morning. Labor took about 14 hours and we arrived at the hospital during the height of the hurricane, although the hurricane really didn't hit us to bad.

Everyone is doing fine although MW and I are still catching up on sleep and trying to figure out how the hell to be parents.

Once I am a bit more with it I will post a couple of times on labor and delivery, recovery and bringing him home.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Ok so here is the plan

Ok so we had our appointment with the OB today and MW is 1 cm dilated and 50% ephased (softening of the cervix) the plan moving forward is as follows.

We will continue to monitor MW at home for any changes/ if labor kicks in. If on Sunday the baby hasn't come we will go into the hospital and get a cervix softening gel put on. This gel further softens the cervix in preparation for delivery. MW's OB said that sometimes this gel causes woman to go into labor (about a 20% chance) After some monitoring we will go home and see if the gel does the trick. If not we are set up for an induction at 0700 on Tuesday!

All the while we will try and dodge the pending hurricane.

Its the final countdown!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Hurricane watch

So apparently the northeast has a possibility of being hit with what is left of Hurricane Irene when she comes up this way.... great great. Come on baby, lets get out before high winds and rain ok?

Monday, August 22, 2011

Week 40 update

We are almost at our due date! Saturday 27 August is the current due date for our little buddy, but at the moment he seems quite content to just hang out and relax.

The biggest thing I have noticed in the past week and a half is the fact that both MW and I are VERY ready for pregnancy to be over. Sure having a newborn brings a whole host of different stresses, but at least they will be different stresses!

The plan right now is to go until Monday and, if the baby doesn't come before then, have a meeting with the OB about the plan moving forward (ie induction)

Hopefully it will not come to that, but I will keep every one updated.

Also my buddy MC is back in the US which is awesome! Maybe our little buddy was just waiting for his Crazy Uncle Crawley to get back!

Monday, August 15, 2011

we're waiting for you, we're waiting for you

So we have been eagerly awaiting the coming of our little guy, but it seems the time is crawling by. Our due date isn't until August 27th ( its the 15 right now) but by the end of pregnancy all you want is the baby to come. Your partner is sick of being pregnant and probably really wants it to be done, but in my experience its slightly different for a dad to be.

My biggest issue has been the want to connect with the little guy. MW has been carrying him around for almost 9 months now. She feels him kick every time and feels him moving around in there. I can feel him kick (which is awesome) but feel slightly disjointed from the whole experience. For the dad there is a lot of hurry up and wait in the pregnancy process. I am excited to get to the part that I can be directly involved in the babies life!

Although waiting is a bit tedious, just keep on trucking. Eventually he will come and I expect there will be times where I will yearn for the quiet of pregnancy again.

Monday, August 8, 2011

the countdown has begun

At 37 weeks we are now considered full term! How crazy is that, really could happen at any time now! Hopefully he is in there for a couple more weeks (although MW may disagree with that at this point)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Money part 2--Unemployment and getting overwhelmed

Throughout MW's pregnancy a recurring question I have heard from many of my guy friends is money. In all fairness I think that MW has heard quite a bit of that too, so it's not just a guy concern. Since MW lost her job and is trying to set up unemployment I figured another Money post would be good.

In this money post I want to touch on two things; Unemployment/losing your job and becoming overwhelmed.

First off lets talk about losing your job. Losing your job at any time can be a crushing thing, losing your job while 32 weeks pregnant is usually devestating. MW and I are lucky becuase I have a good job and because we had planned for her to stop working right after JW is born. That being said it was still a jolt to hear that her company had gone under. Unfortunaetly I was stuck behind an overturned milk truck on my way to board a ship in Montreal (a story for another post), but being stuck behind that milk truck did help me put together what I wish I could do.

The first thing would have been to go home and just chill for a second, let your mind catch up to everything that has happened. Then my next thought would be to not think about money and do something that you know you enjoy. I am not saying to go spend a ton of money going out to eat or something like that, but do something that you know will make you at least a little happy.

After some happy time it is time to sit down and figure out money. FIRST ON YOUR LIST IS FILE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT!! We found out that unemployment can take up to 4 weeks to take effect and a month without any income will be enough to make many people feel a bit sick! Then sit down and see where you can make cut Hopefully you have already put some thought into a budget for after the baby comes, I would use that as your starting point.

If you can make cuts to some of the entertainment and extra spending do it, but you need to remember to do fun things still or else depression can set in. Getting depressed is worse than being poor people so remember to treat yourself right! For MW and I the cuts will come from food. We love to go out to eat and that will just have to take a little break until unemployment kicks in and we can reassess our finances. Instead of a dinner at Sylvan Street Grill, we will just have to have a nice home cooked meal at home.

If you decide you want/need to go back to work then start looking immediately. Collect unemployment as you look and start sending out resumes, as often and as many as you can. Get your name out there, if there is a get together/networking event go to it!

The fundamental fear of losing your job is the lack of money, however that fear is not reserved for those who loose their job. For MW and I one of the two biggest worries/issues during pregnancy (and life for that matter) has been money.

Money is terrifying and that's ok! I really want everyone to know that. Lots of guys take money as their issue, but it's both of your issues guys. Talk to your partner and make sure that expectations are correct for what you can afford, that is the most important thing.

Make sure to support each other as you tackle money issues. If you have a couple trusted friends/family members that you can vent to that is also a plus. Venting to an outside party is always better than blowing up at your partner because of something like money.

Remember you are in this together, just like you are with pregnancy!!




Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Update...Sorry for the delay

Apologies for the delay all, the last couple weeks have been quite busy, but I will sum everything up.

MW is doing very well with the gestational diabetes. After some issue controlling her fasting sugar levels she is on 20 units of insulin and her blood sugar levels are in control and doing well. We did another ultrasound a couple of weeks ago with the little guy weighing in at 4 pounds 12 oz! We have another ultrasound on Thursday so I will update his weight then.

Health wise everything is going well for both MW and JW which is the most important thing. However the last two weeks have been very busy.

I ended up taking a trip up to Montreal for a week to go on board a ship that was being repaired. Got to learn quite a bit, but travelling in the 34 week was quite the interesting and nerve wracking experience. Another post to come on that.

Also MW's company shut down! She came in last Monday to find a note on every ones desk saying to call a number, she called it and, bingo bango, the bank had pulled funding and everyone was out of the job! This has been quite an interesting thing to happen so close to having a baby because we no longer have the option for maternity leave. At the moment MW has filed for unemployment and will continue filing for that even after the baby comes. In the end its really a good thing because Redcoat was a miserable and soul destroying place to work.

We had one baby shower with all of our friends (except for those who were at sea or on their way to China!) which was very fun. Lots of amazing gifts and now the babies room actually looks like a room! We have our family baby shower this week so even more stuff will appear and hopefully we will be ready for when the little guy comes!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Yay low blood sugar count!

Just an update MW was pumped up to 16 units of insulin a night and her morning level has been below 90 (which is the requirement) for the past 3 days! Woohoo go MW go!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The forgotten member of pregnancy

I have mulled over how to write this post for quite a long time, in fact it is the reason I started this blog in the first place. After a tough couple of weeks I have decided now is as good a time as ever.

MW has been pregnant for 32 and half weeks and has been bombarded with questions from people. How are you feeling? How are your ankles? Are you eating enough? Are you exercising?

I myself, besides by MW herself and one or two friends, have been asked one question. How is MW?

I understand that the mom to be is the main attraction in pregnancy. And that is the way it should be, but people need to remember that the dad to be is going through this as well. It becomes very lonely when people don't really care how you feel. Luckily I have the most amazing wife in the world and she can always tell when I am feeling a bit down and she makes me feel better.

The issues felt by the men are often different than the issues that woman experience. The two biggest issues I have found is that I have zero control over what happens and I have zero identity in this process

The hardest thing I have had to do so far is watch MW go through all of the Gestational Diabetes issues. I have watched her have low numbers (yay), high numbers (boo), and I have consistently had to watch her be disappointed with her morning levels. It is heartbreaking to watch MW be disappointed with something she really has little to no control over. Luckily we had each other and a couple of friends that have really helped her feel better and laugh. No one except for MW and one other friend have asked me if this is having any type of effect on me...unreal.

Often people do not think of men having issues because the woman's hormones have changed so much and they are, rightfully so, a bit hormonal. However I want to put this out there right now, our hormones change too. No its not the same hormonal changes as a woman by far, but its still there. We are scared for no reason, upset for random things, elated at times and down in the dumps at others. So everyone should just remember that before stomping on a dad to be hormonal mindset

The other major issue I have is that people seem to think that all men are so dumb they cant tie their own shoes. I am so sick of people telling me how I am going to have to get used to poop and I don't understand it blah blah. I am not dumb, in fact I think I am a rather clever person. Shit happens, get over it and move on. Yes sometimes I won't want to change diapers or clean up vomit, but I will because that's a parents job. Men can figure out diapers and feedings and temperature and putting a baby to sleep. One of the MILLIONS of things I love about MW is she sees this. She sees how excited I am and understands that I am just as valuable as she is in this process. So thank you for the offer but we will place our changing table where we want, figure out baby placement and sleeping how we want, and expose our baby to things we feel are safe and good for their development. When we want help we will ask for it, don't worry

I am sick of hearing about a woman's "mystical connection" with her child. Your connection with your child is what you get out of it and there are plenty of excited and devoted fathers to be that are itching at the opportunity to learn these things and become part of their babies life. That being said gentleman it is your responsibility to get involved so get off your butts and do it. Be involved in this process, you may find out you really enjoy it. And even if you don't love the poop and pee parts (not sure who really loves that part) Everyone poops and everyone throws up so don't be afraid and get over it.

Now this post sounds like its me rambling, bitching and complaining...which is exactly what it is. Sometimes that happens everyone so get it out, then move on Luckily I have a fantastic wife and a couple great friends who have really tried hard to make sure both of us are doing well.
Lots of guys may not have that, so here is my two cents. You are doing well! If you are scared or nervous that is a good thing! Just keep pushing through and find one or two people who understand you and you can make it through! Despite what 90% of websites say you are wired for this just as much as your significant other is. So go do it!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

What is a Non stress test during pregnancy?

A non stress test is a monitoring test that is used sometimes during pregnancy. Usually used in the later part of pregnancy,or if there is a complication such a Gestational Diabetes, the test is used to monitor who the baby is doing inside the mothers uterus.

The test involves putting a monitor on the outside of the woman and measuring the heart rate and movement of the baby. Below is a small write up on what the test involves.

"If your baby's heart beats faster (at least 15 beats per minute over his resting rate) while he's moving for at least 15 seconds on two separate occasions during a 20-minute span, the result is normal, or "reactive." A normal result means that your baby is probably doing fine for now. Your practitioner may want to repeat the test every week (or more often) until your baby's born." Taken from babycenter.com


Who's up for a trip to the Doctors?

So MW went for her OB appointment today and got a line up of all the times she will have to go to the Doctors for the next month, man does having Gestational Diabetes bump up your doctors vists.

1 visit a week with the OB/GYN until birth
1 visit a week with the Endocrinologist for the Gestational Diabetes until birth
2 vists a week for a non stress test (more to follow)
and 1 more follow up visit with the nutritionalist

All added up that is 18 doctors appointments in the next month and a half. A little overwhelming! That being said everything is going well with the little guy so thats a plus.

For those of you who end up having a schedule like this don't get overwhelmed. Take a minute, take a breath and then push forward. Do something that is relaxing for you and for your partner and just remember that it helps the baby and you can get through it

Friday, July 1, 2011

Are you serious? Hospital Bureaucracy

MW had her A1C test today. The A1C is a 3 month average of blood sugar. She had to get below a 6, any guess on what she got?....that's right a 6.

Unfortunately for her she is allergic to some sulfur based medications so that means she is now forced to take 4 units of insulin at night. Not horrible and it will keep the baby safe, but this post is more about hospital bureaucracy.

MW now has to go to the endocrinologist every week as well as going to the OB every two weeks. Ok fine I understand that, but I do not understand why they cannot be scheduled on the same day and around the same time. You work for the same hospital and you are going to make an 8 month pregnant woman drive around all week to different appointments? You are the same practice and it should be your thought process to reduce the amount of travel time.

I am very disapointed with the customer service at the moment. Care is great, but come one people.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Gestational Diabetes the next step

So MW has been testing for about 2 weeks now and is doing ok. She has scored below the limit after every meal, but is still scoring high on her morning scores. She is going in tomorrow to figure out what the next step is. She may end up on insulin or sugar control pills before bed. I guess the way the body works is that insulin is naturally suppressed over the night and into the morning. Because MW is already having issues controlling her blood sugar that extra suppression is pushing her over the limit. I will update again after her appointment tomorrow

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Damn you Carbohydrates...damn you

MW and I went for our appointment with both the endocrinologist and the nutritionist yesterday.

First of what does this mean?
Endocrinology is the study of the biosynthesis, storage, chemistry and physiological function of hormones with the cells of the endocrine glands and tissues. In essence the endocrinologist deals with the way your hormones act.

A nutritionist is well versed in the ways that food works. This is not only whats a carbohydrate versus whats a fat, but more into the actual way your body interacts with different kinds of food.

Anywho MW got her glucose meter and is now required to test her blood four times a day for the sugar levels. Once right before breakfast and then once two hours after every major meal. All of this information is recorded on a sheet of paper that we will then review with MW's OB/GYN

The nutritionist went over the different ways carb's work and then gave us carb levels to meet at each meal (more so at lunch and dinner, less so for snacks.) This diet is designed to help keep MW's GD under control. Its defiantly a hard transition to no cookies or ice cream. But we will make it!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Glucose Results

MW and I spend all of Saturday morning in the Beverly Hospital lab fasting and getting blood drawn to do our second glucose test. Because MW got 1 pt above the max on the first test this tset was to further check on the possibility of Gestational Diabetes.

The lab called this morning and told us that MW was above the glucose levels on her first two blood tests during the 3 hr test. What does this mean? Before we go into what it means lets go into how the body works.

Insulin is the hormone central to the metabolization of carbohydrates and fast in the body. In the simplest term Insulin is what metabolizes sugar. Insulin is made in the Pancreas and moved throughout the body to metabolize sugars (glucose) into a storable/usable energy source (glycogen). When pregnant the Pancreas has to produce around 3X the normal amount of insulin due to the other hormones in the body.

MW is just on the borderline of keeping up with her insulin needs. So technically that means she has Gestational Diabetes. So what does this mean?

First off is a trip to the doctors/dietitian. Because her levels are so borderline MW's GD (I am going to shorten it as its a pain to type Gestational Diabetes) can be controlled by diet and exercise. Working with her doctor and dietitian we will be able to put together a diest and exercise program that will keep her sugar at an acceptable level.

GD is not the end of the world! It affects 1-3% of all pregnant woman. This is why the hospital does tests such as this. Now they will be able to keep an eye on MW and make sure that everything goes wonderfully with JW's birth. For those of you who want a little more info on GD here are a couple links.


Thats the nitty gritty of it. I will post more after our trip to the doctors.


Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Glucose test part Deux

Well MW's needed to score below a 130, but she scored a 129. So Friday night is fasting and Saturday morning its back to the lab for the 3 hour glucose test. This involves drinking the same sugary drink as before but a longer testing period with more blood tests.

I will update after

Ps our little guy is doing very well. He has been active and kicking which is excellent and loves to watch the Bruins game! (could be because he usually gets ice cream around that time though...)

Monday, June 6, 2011

Glucose test

MW and I went for our 28 week checkup this morning, which means MW also got to take her glucose test.

For those of you that don't know what that means MW had to drink a super sugary solution, wait an hour, then get her blood drawn. This test will allow the doctors to see if she is having gestational diabetes.

Gestational diabetes is when a pregnant woman begins to have trouble handling her sugars. This doesn't mean that the mom to be has turned into a diabetic or anything like that. Sometimes during pregnancy hormones interfere with insulin, therefore making an abundance of sugar in the blood.

The test involves some really sugary solution (see below) like a college kid playing flip cup. Down the hatch as fast as you can, you only have 5 minutes, and yes they do time you.

I will update when we hear about the results!


I was reminded by MW I should have credited this picture. I didn't take it it came from http://thisgirl-amanda.blogspot.com/2011/05/glucose-schmucose.html

Friday, May 27, 2011

Baby's first real trip to Maine

So MW and I are heading up to our Cabin in Maine this weekend to try out travelling while pregnant. MW is about 7 months along now and, although she is bigger than usual, isn't huge yet. I will report back on any travel related insights I get this weekend, so far the only thing I can think of is planning more pee breaks.

Also this seems like the type of vacation to take while pregnant. Going to Maine to pretty much sleep, read and relax. We don't have to go anywhere, do anything or talk to anyone (except MC&MC who are joining us for the weekend starting Saturday night)

Have a good Memorial Day weekend!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A list of Dad-related sites

Hi all. I found this list of dad-related sites from a daddy-blogger I follow on Twitter. I haven't gone through this list yet, but I wanted to put it out there as a possible info source for anyone who wants to browse through. It may also be a good resource for any moms to be.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The excitement is building

So my friend from work is just back from "paternity leave" (aka vacation time in the US, but I digress) and I am getting really excited for August for when our lil guy comes.

Since TN is back I have a million questions running through my head that I want to ask, but I have decided that a couple of days to get back into the flow of things at work is probably good. If you have someone that has recently had a baby do not be afraid to use that person as a resource, just make sure to allow them some time to get back into the work flow.

Things have become much more real and MW and I have a palpable excitement now. Name is pretty well decided, nursery is underway, MW is obviously showing now, and the baby is moving around all the time. Pretty much every night before bed is talk to the baby/feel him quick time. So exciting!

I don't have any real information to pass on right now except to say that feeling excitement like this is awesome and everyone should enjoy it when it happens! Sure having a baby is a little nerve wracking, but at the same time its just an amazing feeling!

Monday, May 16, 2011

This is the type of parent you DON'T want to be

This is the type of parent you don't want to be.

This woman is just nuts. First of all she is sexist, a father can know just as much/more than a mother. Just because you are a mom doesn't mean you have some sort of cosmic connection to your child. In fact it's that kind of thinking that leads to being an over powering parent who kids want to rebel against.

Second of all this guy needs to grow up. Your a father for goodness sake, not a second child to your wife. You shouldn't just bow to your spouse, you need to take an active part. Bowing out just means you are to lazy to do the work that comes with being a parent.

You need to share parenting responsibilities. Period. There shouldn't have to be a discussion about this, it's the best thing for your child. Sit down, talk it out and work together to provide the best environment you can for your child. Don't assume that you know more because you are a mom or dad with some sort of strange spiritual bond with your child.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Damn hormones you scary!

So I did a post earlier about the hormones that I felt racing as a dad to be, but I also wanted to write a post on the thing many guys fear once they are a bit into their pregnancy....the mommy hormones. Yes its true that guys have hormones, but a pregnant lady blows those out of the water.

The biggest thing you need to remember about pregnancy hormones is that they happen and not to take anything personally. MW is one of the most loving, kind woman I have ever known, but my first taste of mommy hormones ended with me eating dinner alone while MW and AP went to dinner....that's right I got uninvited.

The thing to remember about these hormones is that as suddenly as they get bad, they usually turn around just as fast. So just weather the storm. If for whatever reason your significant other has more down then up, well thats life deal with it. Just do your best to be supportive and make sure you tell her how proud you are! I mean we all like being told we did a good job and most of us have never grown another human inside.

Another thing I have found works well is to be proactive. Avoid topics you know will not end well for you. Sure you may want to go out and do something, but if you know that she doesn't want to be nice and say sorry maybe later (not all the time necessarily). Although the hormones are a bit out of whack you really just need to be patient, use common sense and stay positive.

Hang in there guys!


You have a kid, you better be around

So one of the main reasons that I started this blog was because I had no real idea what I was going to face with a little guy on the way. Sure there was the lack of internet material related to men raising children (really the lack of ANY material), but the biggest problem I had was the distance with my dad. In a generation where divorce rates have gone up this is probably an issue many of us have had to face. So I figured I would share my story and hopefully it helps.

Now I want to preface this by saying its not like I had a tough childhood, because I really didn't. In fact my childhood was a very good one, full of love and fun times. That being said I didn't have the "idyllic" childhood that people often think of. When I was in middle school my dad started to drink at a pretty good rate and, by high school, he was a full blown alcoholic.

The main issue that I had was not the fact that he was a drunk, that was his choice. My main issue was the effect that it had on my brother and I. I felt like I had to jump up into the "man of the house" role, which I was most certainly not ready for at 15. I became someone for my mom to talk to and readily accepted the thought of being the "responsible" man in the house.

Readily accepted or not it was not my job to do that. I still went out with friends and had a grand old time, but always in my head there were worries. " Would we have enough money to get the things we needed?Would we have to go bail him out..again? Would everything turn out ok?" After a while I learned to deal with them and moved on, but even now they run through my head.

There were fights and there were times I was kicked out of the house. It always seemed to work itself out in the end, but that doesn't mean it didn't leave its mark. Humans are made to adapt and that's what I did. I structured my life by going to a paramilitary school. I learned to compartmentalize my thoughts and deal with my issues in a very black and white way.

It doesn't matter what their problem is (alcohol, drugs, gambling, work) it always comes down to one thing, greed. Now many would disagree and say that the first three are a disease and that many fathers work to make sure their kid has a good life. I would say thats baloney, its all about greed.

Do not force your children to pick up your slack. Your the parent and its your responsibility to take care of the kids, not the other way around. Think before you do things, not only about yourself, but about them. It is unfair to force a child to shoulder the burden of an adult, they will be there soon enough so give them a childhood.

The best thing that a father (or mother) can provide for their child is themselves. Yea money is great and so is stuff, but you are the real thing the baby needs. So take the time to watch a sports game, play house/trucks/dolls, and just hang out with your kid. 'You will be amazed at the things you will learn about them and yourself.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The first kick!

So for a couple of weeks now MW has been able to feel the little guy moving around inside. It seems like everytime after she eats there would be 20 minutes of her saying "OOO there he is!" That was excellent news to hear, but I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't feel him moving at all. Well that all changed a couple of days ago.

It was actually the day of our most recent midwife appointment (a blog post regarding that is forthcoming) The midwife had asked if we were able to feel him moving around yet and MW said yes, but I was said no. "Soon enough" was the response and goodness was she right. We were in our room watching a little TV and all of a sudden MW told me to put my hand on her belly, I did even though I knew nothing would come of it. All of a sudden there was a little boop! I put my head down on her belly and it was like there was a little baby Pele in there, I felt two strong kicks when I started to talk to him.

It was very exciting to feel the kicks, but more exciting feeling him react to my voice when I was talking to him. So even though you feel silly talking to a belly, they can hear you in there so talk away!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Daddy hormones...yes those are out of whack too!

One of the stereotypical things associated with pregnancy is the changes (sometimes drastic changes) in the mother to be's hormones. People seem to think that most woman are walking time bombs ready to go off at any minute. Luckily for my, that has not been the case with MW. She has only had one little freak out and has been a champ her entire pregnancy so far. She has also gone out of her way to make sure that my hormones are recognized too. Yes gentleman, your hormones will run wild as well.

Often ignored, the hormones of men change during pregnancy as well. It is not all the same types of hormones as woman, but often there is a similar result. Men can get very needy/nervous/hyper and often times are overlooked during pregnancy. Hormones in men are often something that people, especially the men experiencing them, pretend don't exist. This makes dealing with them even more difficult as they do not want to accept they may be acting out of the ordinary.

Because of the perception of mens hormones there seems to be little advice regarding them. It seems to be unacceptable for guys to act hormonal in society, so guys you and your partners need to figure this out.

The best way I have seen in dealing with hormones in anyone is understanding. By knowing yourself and knowing your partner you can tell when something is off. When you have that good base understanding of each other it is much easier to deal with hormones. And guys just accept you have hormones and get on with it. It has nothing to do with being manly, without hormones you wouldn't be alive!

Be understanding! Should hormones be an excuse for acting like an ass, no they shouldn't. However the whole idea of a relationship is understanding that sometimes right and wrong are not what matters. There have been plenty of times where I am raging about something and MW brings me out for some buffalo wings, despite the fact I am the one being ridiculous. You just need to do your best to keep your hormones in line and reciprocate when your partners hormones are out of whack. Guys is it really going to hurt you to watch Chocolate or something like that if your lady wants it?

There is no point to being in a relationship without that kind of understanding. Your significant other is supposed to be your right hand person, not someone you pick fights with all the time! Remember to treat yourself and your partner well. Take care of yourself and don't feel bad about doing something you like!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Good news!

So great news everyone, the perinatologist couldn't even find an ecogenic focus on the ultrasound. They had much better equipment and the hospital and a much much much better tech doing the procedure. So we have a nice normal baby with no problems on the ultrasound woohoo!

The appointment yesterday prompted me to do a post about technicians, such as our wonderful ultrasound tech yesterday.

It can be a little nerve wracking to go into a procedure like that. You just want to make sure that everything is going well with the baby and all that, often leaving you a little nervous to talk to the tech. Always talk to the tech. The tech should be explaining everything they are doing to you. Yes they are there to get the scans, but they are also there to help educate you on what's going on with your baby.

The second ultrasound we had should have been a really exciting thing! And it was, except we got little to no information from the technician. She just sat there silently snapping scan after scan. She may have said 4 sentences to us. Thank God MW's mom was there to help walk us through everything. Not a good experience, but we didn't know if that was normal or if the tech would have been annoyed by our questions

The third ultrasound was the exact opposite of that. Our tech was fantastic! Her, along with an observing med student, talked us through everything that she was doing. She explained what everything was and what she was doing when she was taking her scans. She asked us about the tech who did the scans at the midwife office and was rather confused when we said we had none of our questions answered and that the previous tech didn't even get all of the scans needed.

Overall the third ultrasound was a fantastic experience, although we did have an hour delay. The best thing I can say to everyone out there is ask questions! If you want to know something or aren't getting the info you think you need, ask them. After all its your baby!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Ultrasound today

So MW and I have our additional ultrasound today to take a look at the echogenic focus that they found on the last ultrasound. I will update everyone after the appointment!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

What's not to love about a registry?

In my experience registry, whether it be a baby or wedding registry, is stereotypically a female job. The thought is that the ladies like to shop and are much better than us. That's a silly thought for many reasons, here are the two biggest I have run into: Knowledge base and excitement level. Let me explain

I love babies, always have. That being said it has been quite a long time since I have had any type of baby in my immediate family. Yes I had had cousins and 2nd cousins, but you really don't see all of the stuff that is involved when you see them at holidays. When MW and I went to babies are us to start thinking about our registry I was completely in awe at the amount of things I had never even heard of, let alone seen. There were many different types of bottles, changing tables, strollers (with and without a built in removable car seat), bumpers, feeding towels etc. At first it was a bit overwhelming, but just think of it like you would any kind of hobby, there are hundreds of neat little things you can get to make life easier. MW was very patient and walked around the entire store introducing and explaining new and interesting baby materials.

Guys why would you not want to be a part of this? This is your excuse to act like a kid and explore. Pick things up, pull them, push them find out how they work. That is the way to become familiar with all of these different things that you will be using over the next couple of years. Find someone knowledgeable (in this case MW is the oldest of 6, enough said) and have at it. PLEASE view this as something that you should be involved in! This is one of the activities that are not only fun, but will give you valuable info on all the random toys and devices you didn't even know existed.


If push comes to shove and you still don't want to do the registry it will make your wife/girlfriend happy, so go. Maybe she will even let you use the little scan gun and you can run around pretending your fighting Nazi's or something.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Telling your Parents

So far in our pregnancy there has been one part that both of us have had the most issues (but also the most excitement) about doing....Telling our parents.

Now a little background on our parents:
My parents are split up with my brother living with my mom and my dad living by himself.

MW's parents are together with 5 kids still at home ranging from 8-22 years old.

Neither of these situations makes for the easiest pass of information between everyone. When we started out the first person we told was not our parents, it was one of our work friends. Being the sharing people that we are, MW and I couldn't wait to tell people. Telling your parents seems like such a big task when facing it, while telling a couple good friends may be much easier. It is ok to tell someone else before your parents, don't feel bad about.

That being said you need to tell your parents in a pretty speedy manor. Below is a brief synopsis of how we told our parents.

Luckily my mom had wanted to get together for a couple of weeks so we picked a weekend and agreed to meet for food and the football game. After about an hour of small talk we decided we really needed to tell her, so we did. Simple as that. We said we have something to tell you and poof it was done. This seemed the most direct and simple way to let her know.

We tried to take the same approach with MW's parents, but the logistics of getting both parents alone with 5 kids in the house is daunting. After playing phone tag for 2 or 3 weeks it came to the point where MW had to tell her mother over the phone. This may not be the first option for most, but that doesn't mean it isn't the best. After speaking with her mom we finally nailed down a date where we could tell her dad in person and talk about how amazing it was.

My dad was a different matter all together. Because I don't see him all that often getting a hold of him, even on the phone, proved to be very difficult. He had changed his phone number and hadn't told us yet, so I kept getting a disconnected message. It ended up that after about 3 or 4 months we had to get in touch with my aunt (who we adore so it wasn't a big deal). After we had dinner and told my aunt she made sure my dad got back to me in a timely manner.

Now what did we learn from this long, drawn out process? (like I said my dad didn't know until around 4 months) We learned that telling people is the greatest/most nerve wracking thing we had to do up until that point. Below is a small list of things we learned that may help

  • Don't worry about it--Having to wait so long in between telling our parents was nerve wracking. Sometimes parents are elated, sometimes they are a bit shook up, and usually they just want to go and tell someone themselves. After you give them some time to get used to the news lay some ground rules. Give them a schedule and a date of when they can tell people themselves. In my case there was no way I was going to wait to get a hold of my dad, once MW's parents knew then we gave them the go ahead. Try and tell your parents as close together as possible, that way you cut down on the jealous "you told x first??" attitude(luckily we had none of that)
  • You are in charge-- For many people this is a new thing. You are completely in charge of this situation. Your parents can have their opinions, but they don't mean beans unless you decide they do. If you want to tell a friend before them do it, and if they are the jealous type you don't need to tell them. Listen to their advice, but if you don't like something say "thank you", go home and don't worry about it. You can do what you want. That being said parents are a wonderful resource so don't dismiss everything they say before taking a look at it.
  • Do not tell them names you are thinking of-- To me this was a bit of an eye opener. Parents don't always think before they talk and often times you get a "you can't use that name" kind of look/statement. Well forget them, its your baby name it what you want. Don't listen to the hoopla from them, it's you and your partners decision.
  • Listen to your body before you listen to your parents--At this point I would like to say that, beyond EMT training, I have had no medical training. That being said your body isn't stupid, it knows what it needs. You listen to your parents and doctors, but often times not your body. Eat what your body tells you and don't feel bad about it. Now obviously that doesn't mean eat an entire cow or a small field of cocoa, but don't doubt yourself. If you have a question use your parents and your doctor. USE BOTH, you may be surprised at the difference you hear.
This is only a short list and a brief overview of what happened when we told our parents. Please if you have questions, comments, whatever let me know. MW and I were engaged for two years before we got married and pregnant, so we know how families can be. Ev

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Finding out the sex

Although mentioned in an earlier post I figured that finding out the sex of your lil buddy is probably deserving of its own post!

"Do you want to know the sex?" this question shouldn't be a question that takes you by surprise. I am going to tell you right that at your 19-22 week appointment they are going to ask you that exact question. So talk about it. Now the thing I want to stress is that just because I say talk about it doesn't mean that you have to decide it the first time you talk about. If anything you should take some time and talk it over a couple of times.

For myself and MW we always just assumed that we would find out. We did talk about it a couple of times and finally decided that we wanted to know what our baby would be. To us the technology was there, why not use it. I am not going to lie it was amazing to find out, but also be prepared for a bit of a let down. Going from two possibilities to one a little bit of disapointment is expected. That being said don't worry about it. Just because you are a bit sad that you don't have two possibilities doesn't mean you aren't super excited to have one definite! In our case its a boy!

The thing that I cannot stress enough is communication take the time to think things over by yourself and talk to your partner. Relax you have plenty of time to figure things out!

Money part 1

So a huge concern, especially for the man(at least thats how it seems) in a pregnancy is money. Every book or website I have found related to becoming a father is at least 20% about money. That is fine, but there is a lot about money I find to be overly worrying. This post is the first in a series I would like to do about money to make all those parents, moms to be and dads to be, feel a little bit better.

Really issues with money generally go back before a kid was ever in the works. A major issue I have seen is that money issues seem to be routed to one person. In a relationship your spouses money problems/triumphs are your money problems/triumphs. It is unfair to everyone involved if you do not discuss things like this with your spouse and it will come back to bite you in the ass.

That being said the major thing I have noticed about men and pregnancy is that they look for one thing to latch onto, one thing they can call their own. The easiest thing for a guy to take control of is the money. They do not carry or feel the body changes that a woman does, the only things they can take control over are outside of the pregnancy. The problem that is run into is that a woman does have so much to concern her that often she lets money be handled by the guy

EVERYTHING in this process is both of you. The body changes, hormones, crazy mood swings, etc are not your girlfriend or wifes to deal with, they are both of yours to deal with. The same can be said about money. Make sure to keep your significant other in the loop on everything you are thinking and listen to what they say. As my uncle DF says, "Your pregnant, not broken right?"

I know that this is sort of a rambling post, but money is such a difficult topic to address that I have had a very hard time narrowing down. The biggest lesson I can try and get across is do not go out on your own. You are in a relationship, the whole point of that is to work together through everything!


Level 2 ultrasound

MW and I heard about our level 2 ultrasound today. Many people don't get a level 2 ultrasound, but our midwife wanted us to get it to make sure that the Echogenic Focus they picked up on the regular ultrasound was nothing to worry about. We go on the 14th of April to see a specialist (perinatologist) and get our scan. I will update you when it happens.

When it comes to extra things like this something that pops up is money. It's very hard for many people to think of money when a procedure is recommended by a health care provider, especially when it is regarding your baby. However if you don't think about money now then it will come back to bite you in the ass later on. If you have insurance please remember to contact your provider and find out exactly what they cover in regards to scans and secondary testing. Just something to keep in mind while dealing with money is to take a second and think about whats going on. In my case usually it works itself out and I end up feeling ok about money.


Monday, April 4, 2011

The second ultrasound

Friday 1 April we had our second ultrasound appointment. I took the entire day to make sure that I was there and on time. However after a GPS glitch (thats right GPS not me) I ended up being about 10 minutes late. Great Great. Luckily for me JF was there to keep MW calm and laughing which was awesome!.

Once we did get there it was very much as I remember the first ultrasound except it was amazing to me how much it looked like a person! As we went through the ultrasound tech, who sucked hard core, was silent about everything we were looking at unless we asked. If you want to know what something is ASK! Sometimes the tech may be a bitch or something else could be going on, but you deserve to know everything!

The most amazing part came when the tech finally opened her mouth and asked us if we wanted to know the sex. I did want to touch a little bit on this decision. When MW and I first spoke about it the conversation pretty much went along the lines of, well I just always assumed we would find out. Some people have very strong convictions on knowing vs. not. I feel like these are the people that get most of the attention. If you don't really know what you want, thats cool. I would def( I cant spell definitely, get over it) say sit down and decide before you have the scan, as deciding then would have been a major pain in the ass.

For us we are having a boy! Woohoo! This was a big surprise for a lot of people as I feel that many thought it was a girl. I honestly didn't care as long as it was healthy. That's right some people don't care if its a boy or a girl, don't listen to people who say otherwise!

The only issue we ran into scan wise, was something called an echogenic foci. An ecogenic foci is a calcium deposit in the heart. What does this mean you ask? Not a damn thing.
According the the Tufts medical resources (Sorry its a bit technical)
There are very distinct features that would be picked up on ultrasound such as bone measurements and facial abnormalities that would be a much higher indicator of a problem such as Downs. The best available evidence suggests that an isolated echogenic intracardiac focus in the fetus of an otherwise low risk woman does not confer an increased risk of fetal aneuploidy [7,37,46-51]. Although some papers have reported that the number or location of echogenic foci affects the risk of fetal aneuploidy (higher risk with biventricular or right ventricular involvement), the general consensus is that these factors have not been proven to matter
We will go for a second scan with a specialist sometime this week, but MW and I (as well as our midwife) are not concerned at all.

We will keep you posted!!


Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ultrasound tomorrow!

We have our second ultrasound tomorrow! This is the time where the baby will actually look way more like a baby, as opposed to a tadpole of some sort. Both MW and I are super excited about this, we will be joined by her mother JF at the ultrasound and then continue to the midwife appointment ourselves.

I will update this weekend on the awesome that is our appointment. Fear not for I have a large list of possible topics and I want to get 2 or 3 blog posts out in each of the next couple weeks to catch up to where we are in the process now.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Our first Midwife appointment

The event that made the whole process very real to both myself and MW was the first appointment with the midwife. We made an appointment that was about a week out from when we took the pregnancy test at home (we had only told one person each so that we wouldn't have to keep it a secret). That week was one of the toughest weeks to get through in my entire life.

Once we finally got to the day of the appointment it was very reminiscent of Christmas day. MW took the entire day off, but I went to work in the morning. MW picked me up from work at noon and it was such an excitement-tinged ride to the midwife. We really had zero idea of what was going to happen, we hadn't even told our parents yet.

That being said it was an interesting first interaction at the midwife. The nurse took us in and took the normal measurements, height, weight, age, family history. The nurse was slightly on the talkative side, but it seemed to calm me a bit. The Irish way of dealing with anything seems to be to just talk, luckily our Italian/Greek nurse happened to have the same way of breaking the tension!

Once the midwife did arrive it was a very relaxed atmosphere, mostly consisting of question and answer. At this point in the process it's good to ask ALL questions. The phrase "there are no stupid questions" definitely applies here (although I don't think it necessarily does at other points.) Nothing that you ask is going to surprise these people, its their job. Also the silliest questions may be very intelligent questions that will really help you understand the process.

We left the examination room that day with information on everything from genetic tests that can be done, exercise expectations, to food that you should avoid/utilize.

Do not expect to know everything leaving the doctors office that day. The second I left I thought of 100 questions I should have asked. Just take in the day, write down your questions, and ask the next time you go to the doctors.

The next step is the ultrasound.....but thats a different post

My first reaction

So the best place to start is the beginning.

Let me set the scene. It was early-mid January when a large snow storm hit Boston. Both myself and MW's (my darling wife) work had been cancelled due to the blizzard. As I sit lay on the bed watching some tv MW drops a bomb..... "I'm going to take a pregnancy test, ok?" ( Side note, MW's says we had been discussing, I seemed to have misplaced that in my memory) Before the test was even done, we had our answer. "Well maybe that test was broken." Another test later we again had our answer. Also just fyi I was not pregnant, pregnancy tests apparently come in 3 packs.

The first emotion wasn't really an emotion at all, it was just numbness. We hadn't been trying to get pregnant, but at the same time we had discussed it before. The only thing that crossed my mind was: ok, is MW ok?

I asked her and she looked at me incredulously, seemingly thinking the same about me. After the initial shock we sat down and talked. This is KEY.

As I said in my previous post communication is the key. Panicking (although it happens and is normal) doesn't help anyone. By sitting down and talking about what we were feeling we came to grips very quickly. You are both freaked out, so remember to support your partner and let them support you.

Men especially are notorious for being the "big tough guy" Yea I get it, you're buff, now shut up and relax. No one is 100% put together after they hear the good news, even if you are trying for it. Its nerve wracking to find out you will be a father/mother.

At this point the best advice I can give is to relax, watch a movie or listen to music, and just be with your partner. You can talk if you want to, but I felt it took a long time for the news to set in and for me to wrap my mind around what was going on. In our case MW and I scraped 2 feet of snow off our cars and cooked breakfast before we sat down and had a legit serious conversation.
Most of that day was spent alternating between sitting on the couch, cuddling on the couch, or putting as much space between each other on the couch as possible. We even went so far as to watch a documentary on the human body, with a whole section on pregnancy. Just remember that if you feel confused and scared than they feel just as confused and scared. Its stupid to say that you and your partner are going through the same feelings and thoughts, but communication is the key. Sit, talk, cry, laugh and let what happens happen. When you get to the end you will be much more able to form a coherent plan, at this point worry about yourselves and then move on from there.

Welcome aboard

Welcome aboard the good blog, Pregnancy: The Final Frontier, my name is Chris and I will be your captain for today.

I started this blog when my wife, the lovely MW from Thinking, and I found out that we were pregnant. We are due August 27th and this will be our first baby! Obviously it is a big shock to find out that you are expecting, especially when you were not necessarily trying, so I turned to the internet for advice. Alas it doesn't seem that men are really thought about in the process of pregnancy. I found lots of stuff geared towards moms to be (henceforth known as MTB's) ranging from what to expect to how to deal with obnoxious mother in laws, but us Dad to be's (DTB's) were kind of left out to sea by ourselves. So I decided I would try and give all those interested a view into the process for myself.

I am not really positive in what direction the blog will go, but I do know that this is not a guy-only blog. It is impossible to separate MTB's and DTB's so lets get that off straight out. If you think all roles are separate and defined than you are in trouble my friend. The whole idea of parenthood (and really any relationship in general) is compromise and communication. Yes teamwork is great and there are a list of others that make the top 10, but the most important two are compromise and communication. I want all points of view here so I will link to feminist websits, pro daddy websites (if I find any good ones), science blogs, and any other good reference I find.

So this is my thought process and we will see where it goes from here. Please feel free to comment or ask questions!