How to deal with unwanted/unsolicited advice

Unsolicited advice has been the most annoying/aggravating thing about having a baby.  People seem to become a know at all when it comes to children (even if they don't have any, although parents are the worst)

MW and I have had a couple of times where we sit back and say "What?"  The best way that we have found to deal with unsolicited advice is pretty simple.  Assess what the person has to say and if you don't like it don't worry about it.  You aren't going to stop people from giving you advice.

Take what you think is good from this advice and assimilate into your parenting style, everything else throw on the garbage heap.  Try not take this advice personally (I should be one to talk) and just move on.  You have plenty of things to be upset about and it is easier to just ignore people.

Don't feel pressured or anything like that.  It doesn't matter if its a stranger on the street or your own mother (our parents have been good about not giving tons of unwanted advice)  You are the parent now.  Be confident in what you are doing, discuss with your parent and enjoy your baby!

Bath time is one of the funniest experiences I have ever had (Right)




(below) JW in his high chair, playing with some toys!

Daddy hormones...yes those are out of whack too!

One of the stereotypical things associated with pregnancy is the changes (sometimes drastic changes) in the mother to be's hormones. People seem to think that most woman are walking time bombs ready to go off at any minute. Luckily for my, that has not been the case with MW. She has only had one little freak out and has been a champ her entire pregnancy so far. She has also gone out of her way to make sure that my hormones are recognized too. Yes gentleman, your hormones will run wild as well.

Often ignored, the hormones of men change during pregnancy as well. It is not all the same types of hormones as woman, but often there is a similar result. Men can get very needy/nervous/hyper and often times are overlooked during pregnancy. Hormones in men are often something that people, especially the men experiencing them, pretend don't exist. This makes dealing with them even more difficult as they do not want to accept they may be acting out of the ordinary.

Because of the perception of mens hormones there seems to be little advice regarding them. It seems to be unacceptable for guys to act hormonal in society, so guys you and your partners need to figure this out.

The best way I have seen in dealing with hormones in anyone is understanding. By knowing yourself and knowing your partner you can tell when something is off. When you have that good base understanding of each other it is much easier to deal with hormones. And guys just accept you have hormones and get on with it. It has nothing to do with being manly, without hormones you wouldn't be alive!

Be understanding! Should hormones be an excuse for acting like an ass, no they shouldn't. However the whole idea of a relationship is understanding that sometimes right and wrong are not what matters. There have been plenty of times where I am raging about something and MW brings me out for some buffalo wings, despite the fact I am the one being ridiculous. You just need to do your best to keep your hormones in line and reciprocate when your partners hormones are out of whack. Guys is it really going to hurt you to watch Chocolate or something like that if your lady wants it?

There is no point to being in a relationship without that kind of understanding. Your significant other is supposed to be your right hand person, not someone you pick fights with all the time! Remember to treat yourself and your partner well. Take care of yourself and don't feel bad about doing something you like!

What's not to love about a registry?

In my experience registry, whether it be a baby or wedding registry, is stereotypically a female job. The thought is that the ladies like to shop and are much better than us. That's a silly thought for many reasons, here are the two biggest I have run into: Knowledge base and excitement level. Let me explain

I love babies, always have. That being said it has been quite a long time since I have had any type of baby in my immediate family. Yes I had had cousins and 2nd cousins, but you really don't see all of the stuff that is involved when you see them at holidays. When MW and I went to babies are us to start thinking about our registry I was completely in awe at the amount of things I had never even heard of, let alone seen. There were many different types of bottles, changing tables, strollers (with and without a built in removable car seat), bumpers, feeding towels etc. At first it was a bit overwhelming, but just think of it like you would any kind of hobby, there are hundreds of neat little things you can get to make life easier. MW was very patient and walked around the entire store introducing and explaining new and interesting baby materials.

Guys why would you not want to be a part of this? This is your excuse to act like a kid and explore. Pick things up, pull them, push them find out how they work. That is the way to become familiar with all of these different things that you will be using over the next couple of years. Find someone knowledgeable (in this case MW is the oldest of 6, enough said) and have at it. PLEASE view this as something that you should be involved in! This is one of the activities that are not only fun, but will give you valuable info on all the random toys and devices you didn't even know existed.

If push comes to shove and you still don't want to do the registry it will make your wife/girlfriend happy, so go. Maybe she will even let you use the little scan gun and you can run around pretending your fighting Nazi's or something.

Welcome aboard

Welcome aboard the good blog, Pregnancy: The Final Frontier, my name is Chris and I will be your captain for today.

I started this blog when my wife, the lovely MW from Thinking, and I found out that we were pregnant. We are due August 27th and this will be our first baby! Obviously it is a big shock to find out that you are expecting, especially when you were not necessarily trying, so I turned to the internet for advice. Alas it doesn't seem that men are really thought about in the process of pregnancy. I found lots of stuff geared towards moms to be (henceforth known as MTB's) ranging from what to expect to how to deal with obnoxious mother in laws, but us Dad to be's (DTB's) were kind of left out to sea by ourselves. So I decided I would try and give all those interested a view into the process for myself.

I am not really positive in what direction the blog will go, but I do know that this is not a guy-only blog. It is impossible to separate MTB's and DTB's so lets get that off straight out. If you think all roles are separate and defined than you are in trouble my friend. The whole idea of parenthood (and really any relationship in general) is compromise and communication. Yes teamwork is great and there are a list of others that make the top 10, but the most important two are compromise and communication. I want all points of view here so I will link to feminist websits, pro daddy websites (if I find any good ones), science blogs, and any other good reference I find.

So this is my thought process and we will see where it goes from here. Please feel free to comment or ask questions!