This is a draft of a post I wrote in early August regarding travel in the third trimester. I didn't publish it then, but I think its a good thing to think about. I also added a bit regarding travel close after brith...
Third trimester travel
Recently I went on a company trip to Montreal for a week. A ship was up in Port of Montreal and I was asked to go to Montreal, spend the week onboard, and really learn how repair work and steel work happens. Any other time of my life I would have jumped on the oppurtunity to get onboard and learn this stuff, but I had to face a decision. To travel this late in MWs pregnancy or to pass up the opportunity to get onboard and get some real shipboard experience. I decided to go for it.
The biggest issue for me was not so much the fact that I thought I would miss JW's birth. That did weigh on me, but really the biggest thing was that I was not going to be there for MW. Its very stressful in the last month of your pregnancy and it killed me to know that MW would be just waiting by herself while I was running around onboard ship. We spoke every day and luckily her family was around and spent some time with her but seriously reconsider before you travel that close to your baby being born.
Travel after birth
Pre-birth travel was stressful, post birth travel was one of the biggest deals of MW and my relationship. I had made plans months before to travel to Baltimore soon after JW's birth to attend a green shipping conference with a colleague. I had discussed it with MW and we decided it was a great opportunity and that she would be ok with it. Pre-birth thoughts and post birth reality are two vastly different things
It was one of the most difficult things to have my wife (my exhausted and hormonal wife) at home in Boston with a brand new baby, while I was in Baltimore. Overall I think that MW handled it amazingly, with very little freak outs, but I realized that it was really not worth putting her through that all for a silly conference. After birth I suggest clearing your schedule at least for the first 4 months or so. At 2 months you feel so much more comfortable with baby and I would imagine by 4 months things have really started ton feel like a routine!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Staying fluid is the key
The biggest thing that I have noticed with having a baby is the lack of control. There is ZERO ability to plan anything (anyone who says otherwise is just plain wrong). Just when you think you understand the way a baby work he decides to do a 180, just to spite you. That being said there is one thing that I have noticed has really helped me feel better about zero planning, staying fluid.
You can have things you want to do and still do them with a child, they just aren't going to come about in the way that you think. Don't worry if things do not go even close to plan, just go with the flow and don't worry about it. For people who are very planning oriented this transition is very difficult, but just keep it in your head that this baby is legit doing everything for the first time. This time two months ago JW was not even a baby yet. He had never taken a breath, eaten food, pooped, anything. That is the thing I try and keep in my head for when I get aggravated (and you will get aggravated, pissed off, etc.)
Fluidity is key in the advice that you get from others as well. Advice is awesome and really you should take in as much as you can, however don't listen to 3/4 of it. Everyone knows everything about kids when they are giving advice, but in reality almost all of it is opinion to take it as that.
Parents are great, but they are one of the biggest advice givers. Listen to them, take what you like and ignore what you don't. In our cases our parents haven't had babies in 10 years, which doesn't seem like a lot, but really is. Don't be bullied by your parents...you are the parents now!
You can have things you want to do and still do them with a child, they just aren't going to come about in the way that you think. Don't worry if things do not go even close to plan, just go with the flow and don't worry about it. For people who are very planning oriented this transition is very difficult, but just keep it in your head that this baby is legit doing everything for the first time. This time two months ago JW was not even a baby yet. He had never taken a breath, eaten food, pooped, anything. That is the thing I try and keep in my head for when I get aggravated (and you will get aggravated, pissed off, etc.)
Fluidity is key in the advice that you get from others as well. Advice is awesome and really you should take in as much as you can, however don't listen to 3/4 of it. Everyone knows everything about kids when they are giving advice, but in reality almost all of it is opinion to take it as that.
Parents are great, but they are one of the biggest advice givers. Listen to them, take what you like and ignore what you don't. In our cases our parents haven't had babies in 10 years, which doesn't seem like a lot, but really is. Don't be bullied by your parents...you are the parents now!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sorry for the delay...raising a baby is hard!
Hi all, sorry for the delay, but raising a baby is hard!
Things have been going well since JW was born, but man it is a tiring exercise. Having to get up every couple of hours to feed, change, burp, and sooth back to sleep certainly takes a toll. After the first couple of weeks he has started to fall into his own routine as well, which sometimes means all the rocking and soothing in the world is not going to get him to sleep.
This being said the best advice I can give you is keep your sense of humor and remember that your partner isnt out to get you. Sometimes those late night feedings get aggrivating and sometimes anger seems to appear out of nowhere. Remember you have an awesome little person to take care of! Also it does get better, at least that's what I am told!
(sorry for the delay/crappy update. It has been difficult to get back into blogging, but i will get there)
Things have been going well since JW was born, but man it is a tiring exercise. Having to get up every couple of hours to feed, change, burp, and sooth back to sleep certainly takes a toll. After the first couple of weeks he has started to fall into his own routine as well, which sometimes means all the rocking and soothing in the world is not going to get him to sleep.
This being said the best advice I can give you is keep your sense of humor and remember that your partner isnt out to get you. Sometimes those late night feedings get aggrivating and sometimes anger seems to appear out of nowhere. Remember you have an awesome little person to take care of! Also it does get better, at least that's what I am told!
(sorry for the delay/crappy update. It has been difficult to get back into blogging, but i will get there)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)