The second ultrasound

Friday 1 April we had our second ultrasound appointment. I took the entire day to make sure that I was there and on time. However after a GPS glitch (thats right GPS not me) I ended up being about 10 minutes late. Great Great. Luckily for me JF was there to keep MW calm and laughing which was awesome!.

Once we did get there it was very much as I remember the first ultrasound except it was amazing to me how much it looked like a person! As we went through the ultrasound tech, who sucked hard core, was silent about everything we were looking at unless we asked. If you want to know what something is ASK! Sometimes the tech may be a bitch or something else could be going on, but you deserve to know everything!

The most amazing part came when the tech finally opened her mouth and asked us if we wanted to know the sex. I did want to touch a little bit on this decision. When MW and I first spoke about it the conversation pretty much went along the lines of, well I just always assumed we would find out. Some people have very strong convictions on knowing vs. not. I feel like these are the people that get most of the attention. If you don't really know what you want, thats cool. I would def( I cant spell definitely, get over it) say sit down and decide before you have the scan, as deciding then would have been a major pain in the ass.

For us we are having a boy! Woohoo! This was a big surprise for a lot of people as I feel that many thought it was a girl. I honestly didn't care as long as it was healthy. That's right some people don't care if its a boy or a girl, don't listen to people who say otherwise!

The only issue we ran into scan wise, was something called an echogenic foci. An ecogenic foci is a calcium deposit in the heart. What does this mean you ask? Not a damn thing.

According the the Tufts medical resources (Sorry its a bit technical)

There are very distinct features that would be picked up on ultrasound such as bone measurements and facial abnormalities that would be a much higher indicator of a problem such as Downs. The best available evidence suggests that an isolated echogenic intracardiac focus in the fetus of an otherwise low risk woman does not confer an increased risk of fetal aneuploidy [7,37,46-51]. Although some papers have reported that the number or location of echogenic foci affects the risk of fetal aneuploidy (higher risk with biventricular or right ventricular involvement), the general consensus is that these factors have not been proven to matter

We will go for a second scan with a specialist sometime this week, but MW and I (as well as our midwife) are not concerned at all.

We will keep you posted!!

My first reaction

So the best place to start is the beginning.

Let me set the scene. It was early-mid January when a large snow storm hit Boston. Both myself and MW's (my darling wife) work had been cancelled due to the blizzard. As I sit lay on the bed watching some tv MW drops a bomb..... "I'm going to take a pregnancy test, ok?" ( Side note, MW's says we had been discussing, I seemed to have misplaced that in my memory) Before the test was even done, we had our answer. "Well maybe that test was broken." Another test later we again had our answer. Also just fyi I was not pregnant, pregnancy tests apparently come in 3 packs.

The first emotion wasn't really an emotion at all, it was just numbness. We hadn't been trying to get pregnant, but at the same time we had discussed it before. The only thing that crossed my mind was: ok, is MW ok?

I asked her and she looked at me incredulously, seemingly thinking the same about me. After the initial shock we sat down and talked. This is KEY.

As I said in my previous post communication is the key. Panicking (although it happens and is normal) doesn't help anyone. By sitting down and talking about what we were feeling we came to grips very quickly. You are both freaked out, so remember to support your partner and let them support you.

Men especially are notorious for being the "big tough guy" Yea I get it, you're buff, now shut up and relax. No one is 100% put together after they hear the good news, even if you are trying for it. Its nerve wracking to find out you will be a father/mother.

At this point the best advice I can give is to relax, watch a movie or listen to music, and just be with your partner. You can talk if you want to, but I felt it took a long time for the news to set in and for me to wrap my mind around what was going on. In our case MW and I scraped 2 feet of snow off our cars and cooked breakfast before we sat down and had a legit serious conversation.

Most of that day was spent alternating between sitting on the couch, cuddling on the couch, or putting as much space between each other on the couch as possible. We even went so far as to watch a documentary on the human body, with a whole section on pregnancy. Just remember that if you feel confused and scared than they feel just as confused and scared. Its stupid to say that you and your partner are going through the same feelings and thoughts, but communication is the key. Sit, talk, cry, laugh and let what happens happen. When you get to the end you will be much more able to form a coherent plan, at this point worry about yourselves and then move on from there.