Ultrasound tomorrow!

We have our second ultrasound tomorrow! This is the time where the baby will actually look way more like a baby, as opposed to a tadpole of some sort. Both MW and I are super excited about this, we will be joined by her mother JF at the ultrasound and then continue to the midwife appointment ourselves.

I will update this weekend on the awesome that is our appointment. Fear not for I have a large list of possible topics and I want to get 2 or 3 blog posts out in each of the next couple weeks to catch up to where we are in the process now.

Our first Midwife appointment

The event that made the whole process very real to both myself and MW was the first appointment with the midwife. We made an appointment that was about a week out from when we took the pregnancy test at home (we had only told one person each so that we wouldn't have to keep it a secret). That week was one of the toughest weeks to get through in my entire life.

Once we finally got to the day of the appointment it was very reminiscent of Christmas day. MW took the entire day off, but I went to work in the morning. MW picked me up from work at noon and it was such an excitement-tinged ride to the midwife. We really had zero idea of what was going to happen, we hadn't even told our parents yet.

That being said it was an interesting first interaction at the midwife. The nurse took us in and took the normal measurements, height, weight, age, family history. The nurse was slightly on the talkative side, but it seemed to calm me a bit. The Irish way of dealing with anything seems to be to just talk, luckily our Italian/Greek nurse happened to have the same way of breaking the tension!

Once the midwife did arrive it was a very relaxed atmosphere, mostly consisting of question and answer. At this point in the process it's good to ask ALL questions. The phrase "there are no stupid questions" definitely applies here (although I don't think it necessarily does at other points.) Nothing that you ask is going to surprise these people, its their job. Also the silliest questions may be very intelligent questions that will really help you understand the process.

We left the examination room that day with information on everything from genetic tests that can be done, exercise expectations, to food that you should avoid/utilize.

Do not expect to know everything leaving the doctors office that day. The second I left I thought of 100 questions I should have asked. Just take in the day, write down your questions, and ask the next time you go to the doctors.

The next step is the ultrasound.....but thats a different post

My first reaction

So the best place to start is the beginning.

Let me set the scene. It was early-mid January when a large snow storm hit Boston. Both myself and MW's (my darling wife) work had been cancelled due to the blizzard. As I sit lay on the bed watching some tv MW drops a bomb..... "I'm going to take a pregnancy test, ok?" ( Side note, MW's says we had been discussing, I seemed to have misplaced that in my memory) Before the test was even done, we had our answer. "Well maybe that test was broken." Another test later we again had our answer. Also just fyi I was not pregnant, pregnancy tests apparently come in 3 packs.

The first emotion wasn't really an emotion at all, it was just numbness. We hadn't been trying to get pregnant, but at the same time we had discussed it before. The only thing that crossed my mind was: ok, is MW ok?

I asked her and she looked at me incredulously, seemingly thinking the same about me. After the initial shock we sat down and talked. This is KEY.

As I said in my previous post communication is the key. Panicking (although it happens and is normal) doesn't help anyone. By sitting down and talking about what we were feeling we came to grips very quickly. You are both freaked out, so remember to support your partner and let them support you.

Men especially are notorious for being the "big tough guy" Yea I get it, you're buff, now shut up and relax. No one is 100% put together after they hear the good news, even if you are trying for it. Its nerve wracking to find out you will be a father/mother.

At this point the best advice I can give is to relax, watch a movie or listen to music, and just be with your partner. You can talk if you want to, but I felt it took a long time for the news to set in and for me to wrap my mind around what was going on. In our case MW and I scraped 2 feet of snow off our cars and cooked breakfast before we sat down and had a legit serious conversation.

Most of that day was spent alternating between sitting on the couch, cuddling on the couch, or putting as much space between each other on the couch as possible. We even went so far as to watch a documentary on the human body, with a whole section on pregnancy. Just remember that if you feel confused and scared than they feel just as confused and scared. Its stupid to say that you and your partner are going through the same feelings and thoughts, but communication is the key. Sit, talk, cry, laugh and let what happens happen. When you get to the end you will be much more able to form a coherent plan, at this point worry about yourselves and then move on from there.

Welcome aboard

Welcome aboard the good blog, Pregnancy: The Final Frontier, my name is Chris and I will be your captain for today.

I started this blog when my wife, the lovely MW from Thinking, and I found out that we were pregnant. We are due August 27th and this will be our first baby! Obviously it is a big shock to find out that you are expecting, especially when you were not necessarily trying, so I turned to the internet for advice. Alas it doesn't seem that men are really thought about in the process of pregnancy. I found lots of stuff geared towards moms to be (henceforth known as MTB's) ranging from what to expect to how to deal with obnoxious mother in laws, but us Dad to be's (DTB's) were kind of left out to sea by ourselves. So I decided I would try and give all those interested a view into the process for myself.

I am not really positive in what direction the blog will go, but I do know that this is not a guy-only blog. It is impossible to separate MTB's and DTB's so lets get that off straight out. If you think all roles are separate and defined than you are in trouble my friend. The whole idea of parenthood (and really any relationship in general) is compromise and communication. Yes teamwork is great and there are a list of others that make the top 10, but the most important two are compromise and communication. I want all points of view here so I will link to feminist websits, pro daddy websites (if I find any good ones), science blogs, and any other good reference I find.

So this is my thought process and we will see where it goes from here. Please feel free to comment or ask questions!