The forgotten member of pregnancy

I have mulled over how to write this post for quite a long time, in fact it is the reason I started this blog in the first place. After a tough couple of weeks I have decided now is as good a time as ever.

MW has been pregnant for 32 and half weeks and has been bombarded with questions from people. How are you feeling? How are your ankles? Are you eating enough? Are you exercising?

I myself, besides by MW herself and one or two friends, have been asked one question. How is MW?

I understand that the mom to be is the main attraction in pregnancy. And that is the way it should be, but people need to remember that the dad to be is going through this as well. It becomes very lonely when people don't really care how you feel. Luckily I have the most amazing wife in the world and she can always tell when I am feeling a bit down and she makes me feel better.

The issues felt by the men are often different than the issues that woman experience. The two biggest issues I have found is that I have zero control over what happens and I have zero identity in this process

The hardest thing I have had to do so far is watch MW go through all of the Gestational Diabetes issues. I have watched her have low numbers (yay), high numbers (boo), and I have consistently had to watch her be disappointed with her morning levels. It is heartbreaking to watch MW be disappointed with something she really has little to no control over. Luckily we had each other and a couple of friends that have really helped her feel better and laugh. No one except for MW and one other friend have asked me if this is having any type of effect on me...unreal.

Often people do not think of men having issues because the woman's hormones have changed so much and they are, rightfully so, a bit hormonal. However I want to put this out there right now, our hormones change too. No its not the same hormonal changes as a woman by far, but its still there. We are scared for no reason, upset for random things, elated at times and down in the dumps at others. So everyone should just remember that before stomping on a dad to be hormonal mindset

The other major issue I have is that people seem to think that all men are so dumb they cant tie their own shoes. I am so sick of people telling me how I am going to have to get used to poop and I don't understand it blah blah. I am not dumb, in fact I think I am a rather clever person. Shit happens, get over it and move on. Yes sometimes I won't want to change diapers or clean up vomit, but I will because that's a parents job. Men can figure out diapers and feedings and temperature and putting a baby to sleep. One of the MILLIONS of things I love about MW is she sees this. She sees how excited I am and understands that I am just as valuable as she is in this process. So thank you for the offer but we will place our changing table where we want, figure out baby placement and sleeping how we want, and expose our baby to things we feel are safe and good for their development. When we want help we will ask for it, don't worry

I am sick of hearing about a woman's "mystical connection" with her child. Your connection with your child is what you get out of it and there are plenty of excited and devoted fathers to be that are itching at the opportunity to learn these things and become part of their babies life. That being said gentleman it is your responsibility to get involved so get off your butts and do it. Be involved in this process, you may find out you really enjoy it. And even if you don't love the poop and pee parts (not sure who really loves that part) Everyone poops and everyone throws up so don't be afraid and get over it.

Now this post sounds like its me rambling, bitching and complaining...which is exactly what it is. Sometimes that happens everyone so get it out, then move on Luckily I have a fantastic wife and a couple great friends who have really tried hard to make sure both of us are doing well.

Lots of guys may not have that, so here is my two cents. You are doing well! If you are scared or nervous that is a good thing! Just keep pushing through and find one or two people who understand you and you can make it through! Despite what 90% of websites say you are wired for this just as much as your significant other is. So go do it!

Damn you Carbohydrates...damn you

MW and I went for our appointment with both the endocrinologist and the nutritionist yesterday.

First of what does this mean?

Endocrinology is the study of the biosynthesis, storage, chemistry and physiological function of hormones with the cells of the endocrine glands and tissues. In essence the endocrinologist deals with the way your hormones act.

A nutritionist is well versed in the ways that food works. This is not only whats a carbohydrate versus whats a fat, but more into the actual way your body interacts with different kinds of food.

Anywho MW got her glucose meter and is now required to test her blood four times a day for the sugar levels. Once right before breakfast and then once two hours after every major meal. All of this information is recorded on a sheet of paper that we will then review with MW's OB/GYN

The nutritionist went over the different ways carb's work and then gave us carb levels to meet at each meal (more so at lunch and dinner, less so for snacks.) This diet is designed to help keep MW's GD under control. Its defiantly a hard transition to no cookies or ice cream. But we will make it!

Glucose Results

MW and I spend all of Saturday morning in the Beverly Hospital lab fasting and getting blood drawn to do our second glucose test. Because MW got 1 pt above the max on the first test this tset was to further check on the possibility of Gestational Diabetes.

The lab called this morning and told us that MW was above the glucose levels on her first two blood tests during the 3 hr test. What does this mean? Before we go into what it means lets go into how the body works.

Insulin is the hormone central to the metabolization of carbohydrates and fast in the body. In the simplest term Insulin is what metabolizes sugar. Insulin is made in the Pancreas and moved throughout the body to metabolize sugars (glucose) into a storable/usable energy source (glycogen). When pregnant the Pancreas has to produce around 3X the normal amount of insulin due to the other hormones in the body.

MW is just on the borderline of keeping up with her insulin needs. So technically that means she has Gestational Diabetes. So what does this mean?

First off is a trip to the doctors/dietitian. Because her levels are so borderline MW's GD (I am going to shorten it as its a pain to type Gestational Diabetes) can be controlled by diet and exercise. Working with her doctor and dietitian we will be able to put together a diest and exercise program that will keep her sugar at an acceptable level.

GD is not the end of the world! It affects 1-3% of all pregnant woman. This is why the hospital does tests such as this. Now they will be able to keep an eye on MW and make sure that everything goes wonderfully with JW's birth. For those of you who want a little more info on GD here are a couple links.

http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/women/pregnancy/complications/075.html

http://diabetes.webmd.com/guide/gestational_diabetes

Thats the nitty gritty of it. I will post more after our trip to the doctors.

Damn hormones you scary!

So I did a post earlier about the hormones that I felt racing as a dad to be, but I also wanted to write a post on the thing many guys fear once they are a bit into their pregnancy....the mommy hormones. Yes its true that guys have hormones, but a pregnant lady blows those out of the water.

The biggest thing you need to remember about pregnancy hormones is that they happen and not to take anything personally. MW is one of the most loving, kind woman I have ever known, but my first taste of mommy hormones ended with me eating dinner alone while MW and AP went to dinner....that's right I got uninvited.

The thing to remember about these hormones is that as suddenly as they get bad, they usually turn around just as fast. So just weather the storm. If for whatever reason your significant other has more down then up, well thats life deal with it. Just do your best to be supportive and make sure you tell her how proud you are! I mean we all like being told we did a good job and most of us have never grown another human inside.

Another thing I have found works well is to be proactive. Avoid topics you know will not end well for you. Sure you may want to go out and do something, but if you know that she doesn't want to be nice and say sorry maybe later (not all the time necessarily). Although the hormones are a bit out of whack you really just need to be patient, use common sense and stay positive.

Hang in there guys!