MW has been pregnant for 32 and half weeks and has been bombarded with questions from people. How are you feeling? How are your ankles? Are you eating enough? Are you exercising?
I myself, besides by MW herself and one or two friends, have been asked one question. How is MW?
I understand that the mom to be is the main attraction in pregnancy. And that is the way it should be, but people need to remember that the dad to be is going through this as well. It becomes very lonely when people don't really care how you feel. Luckily I have the most amazing wife in the world and she can always tell when I am feeling a bit down and she makes me feel better.
The issues felt by the men are often different than the issues that woman experience. The two biggest issues I have found is that I have zero control over what happens and I have zero identity in this process
The hardest thing I have had to do so far is watch MW go through all of the Gestational Diabetes issues. I have watched her have low numbers (yay), high numbers (boo), and I have consistently had to watch her be disappointed with her morning levels. It is heartbreaking to watch MW be disappointed with something she really has little to no control over. Luckily we had each other and a couple of friends that have really helped her feel better and laugh. No one except for MW and one other friend have asked me if this is having any type of effect on me...unreal.
Often people do not think of men having issues because the woman's hormones have changed so much and they are, rightfully so, a bit hormonal. However I want to put this out there right now, our hormones change too. No its not the same hormonal changes as a woman by far, but its still there. We are scared for no reason, upset for random things, elated at times and down in the dumps at others. So everyone should just remember that before stomping on a dad to be hormonal mindset
The other major issue I have is that people seem to think that all men are so dumb they cant tie their own shoes. I am so sick of people telling me how I am going to have to get used to poop and I don't understand it blah blah. I am not dumb, in fact I think I am a rather clever person. Shit happens, get over it and move on. Yes sometimes I won't want to change diapers or clean up vomit, but I will because that's a parents job. Men can figure out diapers and feedings and temperature and putting a baby to sleep. One of the MILLIONS of things I love about MW is she sees this. She sees how excited I am and understands that I am just as valuable as she is in this process. So thank you for the offer but we will place our changing table where we want, figure out baby placement and sleeping how we want, and expose our baby to things we feel are safe and good for their development. When we want help we will ask for it, don't worry
I am sick of hearing about a woman's "mystical connection" with her child. Your connection with your child is what you get out of it and there are plenty of excited and devoted fathers to be that are itching at the opportunity to learn these things and become part of their babies life. That being said gentleman it is your responsibility to get involved so get off your butts and do it. Be involved in this process, you may find out you really enjoy it. And even if you don't love the poop and pee parts (not sure who really loves that part) Everyone poops and everyone throws up so don't be afraid and get over it.
Now this post sounds like its me rambling, bitching and complaining...which is exactly what it is. Sometimes that happens everyone so get it out, then move on Luckily I have a fantastic wife and a couple great friends who have really tried hard to make sure both of us are doing well.
Lots of guys may not have that, so here is my two cents. You are doing well! If you are scared or nervous that is a good thing! Just keep pushing through and find one or two people who understand you and you can make it through! Despite what 90% of websites say you are wired for this just as much as your significant other is. So go do it!
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