Friday, May 27, 2011

Baby's first real trip to Maine

So MW and I are heading up to our Cabin in Maine this weekend to try out travelling while pregnant. MW is about 7 months along now and, although she is bigger than usual, isn't huge yet. I will report back on any travel related insights I get this weekend, so far the only thing I can think of is planning more pee breaks.

Also this seems like the type of vacation to take while pregnant. Going to Maine to pretty much sleep, read and relax. We don't have to go anywhere, do anything or talk to anyone (except MC&MC who are joining us for the weekend starting Saturday night)

Have a good Memorial Day weekend!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A list of Dad-related sites

Hi all. I found this list of dad-related sites from a daddy-blogger I follow on Twitter. I haven't gone through this list yet, but I wanted to put it out there as a possible info source for anyone who wants to browse through. It may also be a good resource for any moms to be.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

The excitement is building

So my friend from work is just back from "paternity leave" (aka vacation time in the US, but I digress) and I am getting really excited for August for when our lil guy comes.

Since TN is back I have a million questions running through my head that I want to ask, but I have decided that a couple of days to get back into the flow of things at work is probably good. If you have someone that has recently had a baby do not be afraid to use that person as a resource, just make sure to allow them some time to get back into the work flow.

Things have become much more real and MW and I have a palpable excitement now. Name is pretty well decided, nursery is underway, MW is obviously showing now, and the baby is moving around all the time. Pretty much every night before bed is talk to the baby/feel him quick time. So exciting!

I don't have any real information to pass on right now except to say that feeling excitement like this is awesome and everyone should enjoy it when it happens! Sure having a baby is a little nerve wracking, but at the same time its just an amazing feeling!

Monday, May 16, 2011

This is the type of parent you DON'T want to be

This is the type of parent you don't want to be.

This woman is just nuts. First of all she is sexist, a father can know just as much/more than a mother. Just because you are a mom doesn't mean you have some sort of cosmic connection to your child. In fact it's that kind of thinking that leads to being an over powering parent who kids want to rebel against.

Second of all this guy needs to grow up. Your a father for goodness sake, not a second child to your wife. You shouldn't just bow to your spouse, you need to take an active part. Bowing out just means you are to lazy to do the work that comes with being a parent.

You need to share parenting responsibilities. Period. There shouldn't have to be a discussion about this, it's the best thing for your child. Sit down, talk it out and work together to provide the best environment you can for your child. Don't assume that you know more because you are a mom or dad with some sort of strange spiritual bond with your child.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Damn hormones you scary!

So I did a post earlier about the hormones that I felt racing as a dad to be, but I also wanted to write a post on the thing many guys fear once they are a bit into their pregnancy....the mommy hormones. Yes its true that guys have hormones, but a pregnant lady blows those out of the water.

The biggest thing you need to remember about pregnancy hormones is that they happen and not to take anything personally. MW is one of the most loving, kind woman I have ever known, but my first taste of mommy hormones ended with me eating dinner alone while MW and AP went to dinner....that's right I got uninvited.

The thing to remember about these hormones is that as suddenly as they get bad, they usually turn around just as fast. So just weather the storm. If for whatever reason your significant other has more down then up, well thats life deal with it. Just do your best to be supportive and make sure you tell her how proud you are! I mean we all like being told we did a good job and most of us have never grown another human inside.

Another thing I have found works well is to be proactive. Avoid topics you know will not end well for you. Sure you may want to go out and do something, but if you know that she doesn't want to be nice and say sorry maybe later (not all the time necessarily). Although the hormones are a bit out of whack you really just need to be patient, use common sense and stay positive.

Hang in there guys!


You have a kid, you better be around

So one of the main reasons that I started this blog was because I had no real idea what I was going to face with a little guy on the way. Sure there was the lack of internet material related to men raising children (really the lack of ANY material), but the biggest problem I had was the distance with my dad. In a generation where divorce rates have gone up this is probably an issue many of us have had to face. So I figured I would share my story and hopefully it helps.

Now I want to preface this by saying its not like I had a tough childhood, because I really didn't. In fact my childhood was a very good one, full of love and fun times. That being said I didn't have the "idyllic" childhood that people often think of. When I was in middle school my dad started to drink at a pretty good rate and, by high school, he was a full blown alcoholic.

The main issue that I had was not the fact that he was a drunk, that was his choice. My main issue was the effect that it had on my brother and I. I felt like I had to jump up into the "man of the house" role, which I was most certainly not ready for at 15. I became someone for my mom to talk to and readily accepted the thought of being the "responsible" man in the house.

Readily accepted or not it was not my job to do that. I still went out with friends and had a grand old time, but always in my head there were worries. " Would we have enough money to get the things we needed?Would we have to go bail him out..again? Would everything turn out ok?" After a while I learned to deal with them and moved on, but even now they run through my head.

There were fights and there were times I was kicked out of the house. It always seemed to work itself out in the end, but that doesn't mean it didn't leave its mark. Humans are made to adapt and that's what I did. I structured my life by going to a paramilitary school. I learned to compartmentalize my thoughts and deal with my issues in a very black and white way.

It doesn't matter what their problem is (alcohol, drugs, gambling, work) it always comes down to one thing, greed. Now many would disagree and say that the first three are a disease and that many fathers work to make sure their kid has a good life. I would say thats baloney, its all about greed.

Do not force your children to pick up your slack. Your the parent and its your responsibility to take care of the kids, not the other way around. Think before you do things, not only about yourself, but about them. It is unfair to force a child to shoulder the burden of an adult, they will be there soon enough so give them a childhood.

The best thing that a father (or mother) can provide for their child is themselves. Yea money is great and so is stuff, but you are the real thing the baby needs. So take the time to watch a sports game, play house/trucks/dolls, and just hang out with your kid. 'You will be amazed at the things you will learn about them and yourself.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The first kick!

So for a couple of weeks now MW has been able to feel the little guy moving around inside. It seems like everytime after she eats there would be 20 minutes of her saying "OOO there he is!" That was excellent news to hear, but I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't feel him moving at all. Well that all changed a couple of days ago.

It was actually the day of our most recent midwife appointment (a blog post regarding that is forthcoming) The midwife had asked if we were able to feel him moving around yet and MW said yes, but I was said no. "Soon enough" was the response and goodness was she right. We were in our room watching a little TV and all of a sudden MW told me to put my hand on her belly, I did even though I knew nothing would come of it. All of a sudden there was a little boop! I put my head down on her belly and it was like there was a little baby Pele in there, I felt two strong kicks when I started to talk to him.

It was very exciting to feel the kicks, but more exciting feeling him react to my voice when I was talking to him. So even though you feel silly talking to a belly, they can hear you in there so talk away!