How to deal with unwanted/unsolicited advice

Unsolicited advice has been the most annoying/aggravating thing about having a baby.  People seem to become a know at all when it comes to children (even if they don't have any, although parents are the worst)

MW and I have had a couple of times where we sit back and say "What?"  The best way that we have found to deal with unsolicited advice is pretty simple.  Assess what the person has to say and if you don't like it don't worry about it.  You aren't going to stop people from giving you advice.

Take what you think is good from this advice and assimilate into your parenting style, everything else throw on the garbage heap.  Try not take this advice personally (I should be one to talk) and just move on.  You have plenty of things to be upset about and it is easier to just ignore people.

Don't feel pressured or anything like that.  It doesn't matter if its a stranger on the street or your own mother (our parents have been good about not giving tons of unwanted advice)  You are the parent now.  Be confident in what you are doing, discuss with your parent and enjoy your baby!

Bath time is one of the funniest experiences I have ever had (Right)




(below) JW in his high chair, playing with some toys!

Three month update

So it really is amazing to think that JW is already 3 months old.  This has been the longest, and yet shortest, 3 months in existence.  Lets start with all the bad things that I have experienced so far( lets get the short list out of the way)

Tough/crappy parts of the first three months of parenthood-

-Never being able to wake up on your own/lack of sleep

-Limited ability to go out with people (although we bring JW out often (to restaurants, bars, walking etc.) and    he seems to do fine with it.  Just keep  it to a reasonable level.)

-Crying can certainly be grating.  It also gets louder and higher pitch as time goes on

-Annoying people giving me advice:  Out of all the tough things this is the one that drives me the most insane.  If i want help I will ask for it and I don't care to have your opinion before then.

Now the good parts:

-You are a parent, its fun, enjoy it!

-As kooky as it sounds its one of the most interesting glimpses into human beings ever (its like a little experiement lol)

-The first smile makes the first 2.5 months not seem nearly as tough

-JW has made it through the night (5-7 hours) a handful of times and otherwise wakes up once.  

-MW and I are so much more confident in our parenting skills

First time to another state/travel with an infant

For Thanksgiving this year we MW, JW and our friend the Sailing foodie headed up to Vermont for some holiday fun.  Every year for the past couple years Thanksgiving has been a holiday that we have kept mainly to ourselves.  I think its really nice to have a holiday that you can do something un-family related.  Family is great, but there is a lot of family around this time of year, especially when all three of our birthdays are right around the end of summer/beginning of fall.

Anyway this was the first time that young JW has traveled anywhere farther than Reading.  It was a little bit nerve wracking to know that we would be traveling the day before thanksgiving with a 3 month old, but away we went.  Travel for us was EXTREMELY easy (because our baby is freaking awesome).  He woke up once on the way up, but we jsut stopped and feed him and he was content to sit in his car seat and play for the remaining 30-40 minutes.  On the way home he made the entire time!

There are a couple of things that I would recommend to bring with you for these trips, also a couple that I would say leave at home... 

Must have

3-4 bottles (although we were good about washing bottles, it was nice to have extras)

If you are bottle feeding bring enough formula to feed in the car if need be (if you are using premixed keep in mind that you may loose that bottle since you cannot refrigerate in the car.)

Plenty of burp clothes (especially if there is no laundry)

Carrier/stroller

If you have a play chair that the baby likes BRING IT.  We opted not to bring JW's froggie chair and it would have been nice to put him down for a couple minutes somewhere safe and secure, instead of always having to have someone hold him

Leave at home

Bath stuff (are you really going to use it?)

Pack enough clothes to have a couple extra, but not 50 outfits for a long weekend

Dress clothes are fine, but keep in mind pajamas or a nice onsie are so much easier

Bottle warmer (although it is great at home, just microwave some water, its much easier then moving the warmer)

He def didn't need as many toys/books as we brought.  If you are travelling with people he will more than likely get plenty of attention/stimulation

That is my first experience at packing/travelling with babies, but overall it went well.  I am sure the do's/don'ts will get more extensive when we travel with him for longer.  Until then Thanksgiving in VT went great.  Thanks BQ!

(left and below) MW and JW on our quest through Woodstock VT.  He loved the suit, but the hat took some getting used to.  He is going to be a little mountain man before we know it.  O yea did I mention he decided walking around town was a good time to take a nap...yup

( below) JW dressed for Thankgiving in his Mike Holmes suspenders and turkey bib

Yay for beating Gestational Diabetes

MW took her post pregnancy glucose test this week and passed with flying colors!  Yay for not having gestational diabetes anymore!  She goes for an appointment with the endocrinologist today for the final ok, but we aren't expecting any issues!

JW is doing wonderfully, we are getting on average 5-6 hours of sleep at a time at night now, which is excellent!  Here is a picture for everyones viewing pleasure....go Bruins!

Travel during late the third trimester/ early after birth

This is a draft of a post I wrote in early August regarding travel in the third trimester.  I didn't publish it then, but  I think its a good thing to think about.  I also added a bit regarding travel close after brith...

Third trimester travel
Recently I went on a company trip to Montreal for a week. A ship was up in Port of Montreal and I was asked to go to Montreal, spend the week onboard, and really learn how repair work and steel work happens. Any other time of my life I would have jumped on the oppurtunity to get onboard and learn this stuff, but I had to face a decision. To travel this late in MWs pregnancy or to pass up the opportunity to get onboard and get some real shipboard experience.  I decided to go for it.

The biggest issue for me was not so much the fact that I thought I would miss JW's birth.  That did weigh on me, but really the biggest thing was that I was not going to be there for MW.  Its very stressful in the last month of your pregnancy and it killed me to know that MW would be just waiting by herself while I was running around onboard ship.  We spoke every day and luckily her family was around and spent some time with her but seriously reconsider before you travel that close to your baby being born.

Travel after birth
Pre-birth travel was stressful, post birth travel was one of the biggest deals of MW and my relationship.   I had made plans months before to travel to Baltimore soon after JW's birth to attend a green shipping conference with a colleague.  I had discussed it with MW and we decided it was a great opportunity and that she would be ok with it.  Pre-birth thoughts and post birth reality are two vastly different things

It was one of the most difficult things to have my wife (my exhausted and hormonal wife) at home in Boston with a brand new baby, while I was in Baltimore.  Overall I think that MW handled it amazingly, with very little freak outs, but I realized that it was really not worth putting her through that all for a silly conference.  After birth I suggest clearing your schedule at least for the first 4 months or so.  At 2 months you feel so much more comfortable with baby and I would imagine by 4 months things have really started ton feel like a routine!

Staying fluid is the key

The biggest thing that I have noticed with having a baby is the lack of control.  There is ZERO ability to plan anything (anyone who says otherwise is just plain wrong).  Just when you think you understand the way a baby work he decides to do a 180, just to spite you.  That being said there is one thing that I have noticed has really helped me feel better about zero planning, staying fluid.

You can have things you want to do and still do them with a child, they just aren't going to come about in the way that you think.  Don't worry if things do not go even close to plan, just go with the flow and don't worry about it.  For people who are very planning oriented this transition is very difficult, but just keep it in your head that this baby is legit doing everything for the first time.  This time two months ago JW was not even a baby yet.  He had never taken a breath, eaten food, pooped, anything.  That is the thing I try and keep in my head for when I get aggravated (and you will get aggravated, pissed off, etc.)

Fluidity is key in the advice that you get from others as well.  Advice is awesome and really you should take in as much as you can, however don't listen to 3/4 of it.  Everyone knows everything about kids when they are giving advice, but in reality almost all of it is opinion to take it as that.

Parents are great, but they are one of the biggest advice givers.  Listen to them, take what you like and ignore what you don't.  In our cases our parents haven't had babies in 10 years, which doesn't seem like a lot, but really is.  Don't be bullied by your parents...you are the parents now!

Sorry for the delay...raising a baby is hard!

Hi all, sorry for the delay, but raising a baby is hard!

Things have been going well since JW was born, but man it is a tiring exercise.  Having to get up every couple of hours to feed, change, burp, and sooth back to sleep certainly takes a toll.  After the first couple of weeks he has started to fall into his own routine as well, which sometimes means all the rocking and soothing in the world is not going to get him to sleep.

This being said the best advice I can give you is keep your sense of humor and remember that your partner isnt out to get you.  Sometimes those late night feedings get aggrivating and sometimes anger seems to appear out of nowhere.  Remember you have an awesome little person to take care of!  Also it does get better, at least that's what I am told!

(sorry for the delay/crappy update.  It has been difficult to get back into blogging, but i will get there)