Money part 2--Unemployment and getting overwhelmed

Throughout MW's pregnancy a recurring question I have heard from many of my guy friends is money. In all fairness I think that MW has heard quite a bit of that too, so it's not just a guy concern. Since MW lost her job and is trying to set up unemployment I figured another Money post would be good.

In this money post I want to touch on two things; Unemployment/losing your job and becoming overwhelmed.

First off lets talk about losing your job. Losing your job at any time can be a crushing thing, losing your job while 32 weeks pregnant is usually devestating. MW and I are lucky becuase I have a good job and because we had planned for her to stop working right after JW is born. That being said it was still a jolt to hear that her company had gone under. Unfortunaetly I was stuck behind an overturned milk truck on my way to board a ship in Montreal (a story for another post), but being stuck behind that milk truck did help me put together what I wish I could do.

The first thing would have been to go home and just chill for a second, let your mind catch up to everything that has happened. Then my next thought would be to not think about money and do something that you know you enjoy. I am not saying to go spend a ton of money going out to eat or something like that, but do something that you know will make you at least a little happy.

After some happy time it is time to sit down and figure out money. FIRST ON YOUR LIST IS FILE FOR UNEMPLOYMENT!! We found out that unemployment can take up to 4 weeks to take effect and a month without any income will be enough to make many people feel a bit sick! Then sit down and see where you can make cut Hopefully you have already put some thought into a budget for after the baby comes, I would use that as your starting point.

If you can make cuts to some of the entertainment and extra spending do it, but you need to remember to do fun things still or else depression can set in. Getting depressed is worse than being poor people so remember to treat yourself right! For MW and I the cuts will come from food. We love to go out to eat and that will just have to take a little break until unemployment kicks in and we can reassess our finances. Instead of a dinner at Sylvan Street Grill, we will just have to have a nice home cooked meal at home.

If you decide you want/need to go back to work then start looking immediately. Collect unemployment as you look and start sending out resumes, as often and as many as you can. Get your name out there, if there is a get together/networking event go to it!

The fundamental fear of losing your job is the lack of money, however that fear is not reserved for those who loose their job. For MW and I one of the two biggest worries/issues during pregnancy (and life for that matter) has been money.

Money is terrifying and that's ok! I really want everyone to know that. Lots of guys take money as their issue, but it's both of your issues guys. Talk to your partner and make sure that expectations are correct for what you can afford, that is the most important thing.

Make sure to support each other as you tackle money issues. If you have a couple trusted friends/family members that you can vent to that is also a plus. Venting to an outside party is always better than blowing up at your partner because of something like money.

Remember you are in this together, just like you are with pregnancy!!

Update...Sorry for the delay

Apologies for the delay all, the last couple weeks have been quite busy, but I will sum everything up.

MW is doing very well with the gestational diabetes. After some issue controlling her fasting sugar levels she is on 20 units of insulin and her blood sugar levels are in control and doing well. We did another ultrasound a couple of weeks ago with the little guy weighing in at 4 pounds 12 oz! We have another ultrasound on Thursday so I will update his weight then.

Health wise everything is going well for both MW and JW which is the most important thing. However the last two weeks have been very busy.

I ended up taking a trip up to Montreal for a week to go on board a ship that was being repaired. Got to learn quite a bit, but travelling in the 34 week was quite the interesting and nerve wracking experience. Another post to come on that.

Also MW's company shut down! She came in last Monday to find a note on every ones desk saying to call a number, she called it and, bingo bango, the bank had pulled funding and everyone was out of the job! This has been quite an interesting thing to happen so close to having a baby because we no longer have the option for maternity leave. At the moment MW has filed for unemployment and will continue filing for that even after the baby comes. In the end its really a good thing because Redcoat was a miserable and soul destroying place to work.

We had one baby shower with all of our friends (except for those who were at sea or on their way to China!) which was very fun. Lots of amazing gifts and now the babies room actually looks like a room! We have our family baby shower this week so even more stuff will appear and hopefully we will be ready for when the little guy comes!

Yay low blood sugar count!

Just an update MW was pumped up to 16 units of insulin a night and her morning level has been below 90 (which is the requirement) for the past 3 days! Woohoo go MW go!

The forgotten member of pregnancy

I have mulled over how to write this post for quite a long time, in fact it is the reason I started this blog in the first place. After a tough couple of weeks I have decided now is as good a time as ever.

MW has been pregnant for 32 and half weeks and has been bombarded with questions from people. How are you feeling? How are your ankles? Are you eating enough? Are you exercising?

I myself, besides by MW herself and one or two friends, have been asked one question. How is MW?

I understand that the mom to be is the main attraction in pregnancy. And that is the way it should be, but people need to remember that the dad to be is going through this as well. It becomes very lonely when people don't really care how you feel. Luckily I have the most amazing wife in the world and she can always tell when I am feeling a bit down and she makes me feel better.

The issues felt by the men are often different than the issues that woman experience. The two biggest issues I have found is that I have zero control over what happens and I have zero identity in this process

The hardest thing I have had to do so far is watch MW go through all of the Gestational Diabetes issues. I have watched her have low numbers (yay), high numbers (boo), and I have consistently had to watch her be disappointed with her morning levels. It is heartbreaking to watch MW be disappointed with something she really has little to no control over. Luckily we had each other and a couple of friends that have really helped her feel better and laugh. No one except for MW and one other friend have asked me if this is having any type of effect on me...unreal.

Often people do not think of men having issues because the woman's hormones have changed so much and they are, rightfully so, a bit hormonal. However I want to put this out there right now, our hormones change too. No its not the same hormonal changes as a woman by far, but its still there. We are scared for no reason, upset for random things, elated at times and down in the dumps at others. So everyone should just remember that before stomping on a dad to be hormonal mindset

The other major issue I have is that people seem to think that all men are so dumb they cant tie their own shoes. I am so sick of people telling me how I am going to have to get used to poop and I don't understand it blah blah. I am not dumb, in fact I think I am a rather clever person. Shit happens, get over it and move on. Yes sometimes I won't want to change diapers or clean up vomit, but I will because that's a parents job. Men can figure out diapers and feedings and temperature and putting a baby to sleep. One of the MILLIONS of things I love about MW is she sees this. She sees how excited I am and understands that I am just as valuable as she is in this process. So thank you for the offer but we will place our changing table where we want, figure out baby placement and sleeping how we want, and expose our baby to things we feel are safe and good for their development. When we want help we will ask for it, don't worry

I am sick of hearing about a woman's "mystical connection" with her child. Your connection with your child is what you get out of it and there are plenty of excited and devoted fathers to be that are itching at the opportunity to learn these things and become part of their babies life. That being said gentleman it is your responsibility to get involved so get off your butts and do it. Be involved in this process, you may find out you really enjoy it. And even if you don't love the poop and pee parts (not sure who really loves that part) Everyone poops and everyone throws up so don't be afraid and get over it.

Now this post sounds like its me rambling, bitching and complaining...which is exactly what it is. Sometimes that happens everyone so get it out, then move on Luckily I have a fantastic wife and a couple great friends who have really tried hard to make sure both of us are doing well.

Lots of guys may not have that, so here is my two cents. You are doing well! If you are scared or nervous that is a good thing! Just keep pushing through and find one or two people who understand you and you can make it through! Despite what 90% of websites say you are wired for this just as much as your significant other is. So go do it!

What is a Non stress test during pregnancy?

A non stress test is a monitoring test that is used sometimes during pregnancy. Usually used in the later part of pregnancy,or if there is a complication such a Gestational Diabetes, the test is used to monitor who the baby is doing inside the mothers uterus.

The test involves putting a monitor on the outside of the woman and measuring the heart rate and movement of the baby. Below is a small write up on what the test involves.

"If your baby's heart beats faster (at least 15 beats per minute over his resting rate) while he's moving for at least 15 seconds on two separate occasions during a 20-minute span, the result is normal, or "reactive." A normal result means that your baby is probably doing fine for now. Your practitioner may want to repeat the test every week (or more often) until your baby's born." Taken from babycenter.com

Who's up for a trip to the Doctors?

So MW went for her OB appointment today and got a line up of all the times she will have to go to the Doctors for the next month, man does having Gestational Diabetes bump up your doctors vists.

1 visit a week with the OB/GYN until birth

1 visit a week with the Endocrinologist for the Gestational Diabetes until birth

2 vists a week for a non stress test (more to follow)

and 1 more follow up visit with the nutritionalist

All added up that is 18 doctors appointments in the next month and a half. A little overwhelming! That being said everything is going well with the little guy so thats a plus.

For those of you who end up having a schedule like this don't get overwhelmed. Take a minute, take a breath and then push forward. Do something that is relaxing for you and for your partner and just remember that it helps the baby and you can get through it

Are you serious? Hospital Bureaucracy

MW had her A1C test today. The A1C is a 3 month average of blood sugar. She had to get below a 6, any guess on what she got?....that's right a 6.

Unfortunately for her she is allergic to some sulfur based medications so that means she is now forced to take 4 units of insulin at night. Not horrible and it will keep the baby safe, but this post is more about hospital bureaucracy.

MW now has to go to the endocrinologist every week as well as going to the OB every two weeks. Ok fine I understand that, but I do not understand why they cannot be scheduled on the same day and around the same time. You work for the same hospital and you are going to make an 8 month pregnant woman drive around all week to different appointments? You are the same practice and it should be your thought process to reduce the amount of travel time.

I am very disapointed with the customer service at the moment. Care is great, but come one people.