How to deal with unwanted/unsolicited advice

Unsolicited advice has been the most annoying/aggravating thing about having a baby.  People seem to become a know at all when it comes to children (even if they don't have any, although parents are the worst)

MW and I have had a couple of times where we sit back and say "What?"  The best way that we have found to deal with unsolicited advice is pretty simple.  Assess what the person has to say and if you don't like it don't worry about it.  You aren't going to stop people from giving you advice.

Take what you think is good from this advice and assimilate into your parenting style, everything else throw on the garbage heap.  Try not take this advice personally (I should be one to talk) and just move on.  You have plenty of things to be upset about and it is easier to just ignore people.

Don't feel pressured or anything like that.  It doesn't matter if its a stranger on the street or your own mother (our parents have been good about not giving tons of unwanted advice)  You are the parent now.  Be confident in what you are doing, discuss with your parent and enjoy your baby!

Bath time is one of the funniest experiences I have ever had (Right)




(below) JW in his high chair, playing with some toys!

First time to another state/travel with an infant

For Thanksgiving this year we MW, JW and our friend the Sailing foodie headed up to Vermont for some holiday fun.  Every year for the past couple years Thanksgiving has been a holiday that we have kept mainly to ourselves.  I think its really nice to have a holiday that you can do something un-family related.  Family is great, but there is a lot of family around this time of year, especially when all three of our birthdays are right around the end of summer/beginning of fall.

Anyway this was the first time that young JW has traveled anywhere farther than Reading.  It was a little bit nerve wracking to know that we would be traveling the day before thanksgiving with a 3 month old, but away we went.  Travel for us was EXTREMELY easy (because our baby is freaking awesome).  He woke up once on the way up, but we jsut stopped and feed him and he was content to sit in his car seat and play for the remaining 30-40 minutes.  On the way home he made the entire time!

There are a couple of things that I would recommend to bring with you for these trips, also a couple that I would say leave at home... 

Must have

3-4 bottles (although we were good about washing bottles, it was nice to have extras)

If you are bottle feeding bring enough formula to feed in the car if need be (if you are using premixed keep in mind that you may loose that bottle since you cannot refrigerate in the car.)

Plenty of burp clothes (especially if there is no laundry)

Carrier/stroller

If you have a play chair that the baby likes BRING IT.  We opted not to bring JW's froggie chair and it would have been nice to put him down for a couple minutes somewhere safe and secure, instead of always having to have someone hold him

Leave at home

Bath stuff (are you really going to use it?)

Pack enough clothes to have a couple extra, but not 50 outfits for a long weekend

Dress clothes are fine, but keep in mind pajamas or a nice onsie are so much easier

Bottle warmer (although it is great at home, just microwave some water, its much easier then moving the warmer)

He def didn't need as many toys/books as we brought.  If you are travelling with people he will more than likely get plenty of attention/stimulation

That is my first experience at packing/travelling with babies, but overall it went well.  I am sure the do's/don'ts will get more extensive when we travel with him for longer.  Until then Thanksgiving in VT went great.  Thanks BQ!

(left and below) MW and JW on our quest through Woodstock VT.  He loved the suit, but the hat took some getting used to.  He is going to be a little mountain man before we know it.  O yea did I mention he decided walking around town was a good time to take a nap...yup

( below) JW dressed for Thankgiving in his Mike Holmes suspenders and turkey bib

You have a kid, you better be around

So one of the main reasons that I started this blog was because I had no real idea what I was going to face with a little guy on the way. Sure there was the lack of internet material related to men raising children (really the lack of ANY material), but the biggest problem I had was the distance with my dad. In a generation where divorce rates have gone up this is probably an issue many of us have had to face. So I figured I would share my story and hopefully it helps.

Now I want to preface this by saying its not like I had a tough childhood, because I really didn't. In fact my childhood was a very good one, full of love and fun times. That being said I didn't have the "idyllic" childhood that people often think of. When I was in middle school my dad started to drink at a pretty good rate and, by high school, he was a full blown alcoholic.

The main issue that I had was not the fact that he was a drunk, that was his choice. My main issue was the effect that it had on my brother and I. I felt like I had to jump up into the "man of the house" role, which I was most certainly not ready for at 15. I became someone for my mom to talk to and readily accepted the thought of being the "responsible" man in the house.

Readily accepted or not it was not my job to do that. I still went out with friends and had a grand old time, but always in my head there were worries. " Would we have enough money to get the things we needed?Would we have to go bail him out..again? Would everything turn out ok?" After a while I learned to deal with them and moved on, but even now they run through my head.

There were fights and there were times I was kicked out of the house. It always seemed to work itself out in the end, but that doesn't mean it didn't leave its mark. Humans are made to adapt and that's what I did. I structured my life by going to a paramilitary school. I learned to compartmentalize my thoughts and deal with my issues in a very black and white way.

It doesn't matter what their problem is (alcohol, drugs, gambling, work) it always comes down to one thing, greed. Now many would disagree and say that the first three are a disease and that many fathers work to make sure their kid has a good life. I would say thats baloney, its all about greed.

Do not force your children to pick up your slack. Your the parent and its your responsibility to take care of the kids, not the other way around. Think before you do things, not only about yourself, but about them. It is unfair to force a child to shoulder the burden of an adult, they will be there soon enough so give them a childhood.

The best thing that a father (or mother) can provide for their child is themselves. Yea money is great and so is stuff, but you are the real thing the baby needs. So take the time to watch a sports game, play house/trucks/dolls, and just hang out with your kid. 'You will be amazed at the things you will learn about them and yourself.